molly.com
Sunday 17 February 2008
Happiness is Sexy
As a depressive, I’ve always found the people I get involved with during the dark times end up being my worst mistakes.
But happiness, I’m sure, is sexy. I see a plain person frown, and that’s just a plain person frowning. I see any person, no matter their physical being, alive with happiness, and that is very appealing.
Happiness is sexy. I may not always be able to be happy, or sexy, but damned if I don’t love being both.
What do you think?
Filed under: blog slut, blogging, community, molly asks you, pop culture, society
Posted by: Molly | 03:23 | Comments (35)
Hmmm… That being the case, I’m not sure why anyone would ever be attracted to me
“It’s a Mitzvah to be Happy”
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov stressed that only through happiness can a person truly serve G-d.
He believed that everyone has the potential of greatness within and can achieve spiritual greatness through intense effort by looking into one’s own soul, controlling one’s desires and serving G-d with joy.
Agreed, but someone who is always happy, or even pollyanna like can also be a downer.
But from experience, depression is not sexy, no!
You’re spot on! Attitude supersedes face value
Gruven Reuven says “It’s a Mitzvah to be Happy”
That is God’s word as I’ve understood it to be. Mitzvah to the Jews means “blessing.”
Yes, I’m so blessed. I know that every day of my life, yet I’ve not been able to sort out why, then, I was born with this great darkness too.
I meet thousands of people in a month’s time, easily. I want that, because I’m very interested in understanding how, why, we are. Some are light, some are dark, some are confused like me, some seem immune.
I am joyous, happy. I am, humbly as I can express, living god’s will. The idea that I’m doing what I was meant to do. It isn’t always quite “on” and I often have to adjust. But basically, I feel extraordinarily blessed because I feel as if I’m doing what I was meant to do in this life.
I know many (most) people don’t even have the opportunity to examine that, much less embrace it. I do.
Beauty, even when I am at my most depressed, which hasn’t happened in a very long time thanks to major life changes and a bit of meds, reminds me how much service to god, how you define him/her/yourself or whatever, truly is.
It’s the giving, not the taking.
I never, ever want to feel what I did a couple of years ago. Powerless, left to the devices of liars and thieves.
I love this life of truth, despite its flaws. Yes, I’m flawed! I drink, I seek out unusual experiences. I do those things because I think there is a divinity asking me to, within some kind of reason.
I love this life. The blackness only has made me realize that more.
And so: it’s only through our low’s that we can fully appreciate our highs.
Holzschlag–
You are such a gentle soul. You think and analyze way too much, maybe? Sometimes just ‘being’ should be the order of the day, perhaps.
Happiness is infectious, irrepressible and the purest form of ’sexy’, especially since happiness cannot be ever forced. You are feeling happy or you are not, and it is as much a challenge to make yourself happy as it is to try and hide happiness.
While we can’t control the external circumstances of our lives, we can control our reactions to it. Thus happiness isn’t purely driven by external events. That’s the lesson I take from the comments seen so far. Understanding happiness as a mitzvah also comes from the Rabbinic view that what we experience in life have a purpose, even when inscrutable – one’s life is a tapestry, pulling on a thread would unravel it all.
It’s a catch-22 — being alone makes me unhappy, and being unhappy makes me alone.
I think being grateful makes us happier and is is always easier to deal with people in that stage of mind which clearly makes them more appealing.
I’m sexy
I think what it comes to is that we’re trying to be happy. Happiness is contagious, and a group of happy people will eventually make the rest happy, or remove those that can’t be made happy. That sounds bad, but if a group can’t make someone happy the person would be better trying to find something or someone else who can.
The other factor of the attractiveness, I think, is that someone who is happy is apparently doing something right. We want to seek out successful people as mates, and their happiness can help us gauge their success. Sometimes we find out that their success isn’t the kind we were looking for, but it’s still not all bad.
Its true that happy generally means sexy I guess but sometimes its hard to see out of the box when you’re not on top of the world… the black dog… its a big part of the IT industry and seems to be huge in the web development field.
Now if only I could convince everyone else I’m sexy on those good days, Molly. Its a hard call. A very insightful post by the way. We get what we pay for in life – an old saying that’s stuck in my head over the years.
Glad to hear you’re enjoying your holidays… sounds like you might have picked up? Maybe? More to tell?
xox
Molly…
I had the pleasure of attending a short seminar you and Andy gave at Northumbria University an eon ago and have never bothered you – until now…
Yep happines is sexy (I am a very jolly, currently overweight fella who is quite content in various ‘departments’ I must add – would prefer to require larger undies but hey…).
So to point you to a potential happiness ‘fix’ when you need a hit, I would like you to view the picture of yourself (top right for most of us who have not dissed your stylin’) and note the rather sultry look on your face (or even a ‘happy & mischievous glint in their eye ‘) dag-nam-it girrrrrlllll.
The darkness is an affliction of many a great person through-out history (indeed it seems to be a pre-requisite) – just make sure it doesn’t lead you across the tracks…
My top-tip would be ‘if you are currently thinking of purchasing ice-cream -leave the luvvin on the shelf’
[Hope it raises a smile]
Happiness is a warm gun, Momma…
Great. I immediately thought of that song – and now I have John Lennon tootling away in the old noggin’. That’ll be that for the rest of the day.
Happy and sexy together? It *is* a wonderful combination.
Carolyn Ann
“Happyness is sexy”… i totally agree
Rarely see a person that is sexy but seems to be not happy…
Surround yourself with happy people. You’ll surely metabolize their joy.
Darkness is a rough thing, just let yourself be turned to the light. If you miss your chance, another will come soon.
Keep your eyes peeled. You’re someone’s hero, still.
I know when I met you at Webstock I thought you were one of the most desirable women I’ve ever met – probably because you were having such a good time.
You are definitely my hero – look me up if you ever feel blue in Wellington, cause I’ll do *anything* to get you to smile again.
I guess that makes the Dalai Lama (“The Art of Happiness”) and this gray-haired diva sexy. It certainly gives me a good laugh.
You are right!!! Oh my garsh! I think happy guys are sexy guys!!!
maybe
Happiness is beautiful and uplifting, especially in the face of a bipolar family member – sexy will take care of itself.
Charlton’s comment above came directly from an article or book I recently read. Need to find it. “Happiness is infectious, irrepressible and the purest form of ’sexy’”
Depressive? Who would have though?. Never met you in the flesh but from what I’ve read and listened you drip energy Molly!.
BTW as long as happiness goes, for my kids are my endless source of happiness. No matter how twisted, bug killing, css hacking, IE bashing my day is I always come back to the hive from some honey
.
I agree indeed, happiness is sexy and very contagious. Also agree that “sexyness” is more like a state of mind, not the shallow physical look at me working out to dead wearing my italian shirt kind of thing.
thanks
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thanks
I definitely think that happiness is sexy. Everyone looks better with a smile.
Stumbled on your blog and enjoyed reading the discussion.
I agree that happiness is alluring and attractive whereas sexy implies a passion – not just alluring qualities calling out, but the desire drawing near. While happiness certainty can help a person to be sexy, I don’t think that the converse is always true: i.e., all sexy people are happy (or that all happy people must be sexy; even if only because not all people agree on what/who is attractive). The appeal of happiness (for me anyway) is that it implies confidence & direction and usually is packaged with good humor – qualities that are usually agreed to be highly attractive to most people. While more about humor, Rabbi Simon Jacobson’s practical insights are usually well worth checking out: http://www.meaningfullife.com/personal/emotions/Humor.php.