molly.com
Sunday 30 December 2007
Murder Tales
Have you taken the Death Test? I have. I am apparently meant to be murdered. Here’s how I see it:
I’m falling to sleep, so deep and sweet. I stretch and turn, pull the pillow over my head. I’m ready for serious rest.
Not more than ten minutes after I fall to sleep, I begin to dream. My dream colors are very noir, black, grey, lots of shadows.
Think of dramatic violins and long dark hallways.
Next step is the squeaky one. The one you step on and it squeaks and you hold your breath.
Your Mom or Dad or wife or whoever hears that squeak. They can count it. As you can. One, two, eleven.
What do you do now? Do you fall to sleep, so deep and sweet? Will you stretch and turn and pull the pillow over your head?
I am convinced I will die by murder.
Please don’t blame the poor guy.
I’d have killed me too.
Filed under: humor, blog slut, society, creativity
Posted by: Molly | 2:29 am |
December 30th, 2007 at 2:40 am
LOL! How do you know it’s a guy?
)
December 30th, 2007 at 2:50 am
It’s FUNNY dammit. Why am I a comic outcast? No one ever seems to get my gallows humor. I will die by murder? More likely I’ll die in some stupid mishap with a cat and a ladder.
December 30th, 2007 at 2:58 am
Strange… when I follow the “Death Test” link and click on the start button, Safari (3.0.4 on Leopard) crashes. Works fine in Firefox though.
December 30th, 2007 at 3:00 am
@kay : are you saying there’s a murder hack?
December 30th, 2007 at 3:03 am
I might be suggesting exactly that, yes. Also, my name is spelled with an ‘i’, as I am male
Also, this may be the worst site I’ve seen in a long time. I click a link on the site of one of our web goddesses and am assaulted with inane “special offers” to see my results! Surely there is a better quiz for this kind of thing?
December 30th, 2007 at 3:38 am
I died before I managed to battle my way through all those ads…
December 30th, 2007 at 6:56 am
Hey, Molly, thanks for not pointing out the gigantic information scam behind this thing. A fair warning wouldn’t have hurted.
December 30th, 2007 at 7:35 am
I eyes hurt! Too many adverts, I failed to even get close to results of my test
It’s probably a good thing as I am sure it would not be good news.
December 30th, 2007 at 7:36 am
:: bangs head on desk :: (which doesn’t feel so good with a hangover).
It’s a JOKE. Ads or not, it’s a frickin’ joke.
I will go down as the girl in history who no one thought had a sense of humor. Maybe I don’t for the rest of ya, but this kind of crazy keeps ME laughing.
December 30th, 2007 at 8:26 am
I think you have a splendid sense of humor, especially given the early hour and your hangover.
I salute you and mourn your anticipated murder.
December 30th, 2007 at 8:30 am
@BG : why thank you so very much.
I have corrected the link to make it less ad-intrusive and user-friendly.
I know how spoiled y’all are from my ad-free molly.com (ten years plus that way!)
Take the test! Leave your possibilities here.
December 30th, 2007 at 10:19 am
According to the test results, I have been dead for decades, hunt down without mercy, while using a cat and ladder as weapons, developers of silly online tests.
December 30th, 2007 at 11:03 am
I’ve already minimised the chances of being murdered by a ladder-pushing feline by not being owned by one, err, I mean, owning one!
Actually, I can’t have pets in my apartment under the tenancy regulations - which is the real reason for no cat or dog…(pity)
December 30th, 2007 at 11:47 am
Meh, I there’s no year 1988 option. Will my walk on this world be an eternal one? (d’oh)
December 30th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Zo Ms Holzschlag, just relax back on zis couch and tell me, how long have you had zis death wish Hmmmm?
(Molly your gallows humour is well and truly got. Honest.)
:-)
December 30th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
I’m afraid it said I shall die of old age at 100 years so you’re stuck with me for some considerable time
December 31st, 2007 at 6:56 am
@daniel : I think it means you never were born, in which case death is an impossibility. You’re immortal!
@gill : 100 years! You must be very healthy and have good habits, unlike me.
December 31st, 2007 at 12:53 pm
I’ll die from a heart attack at age 81. Sounds ok to me.
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:11 am
I bet I know *which* cat you mean, and I can guess at where the ladder might be…lol!
(btw, I *know* you’re darn funny, heh…)
January 4th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
forum thanks
January 5th, 2008 at 6:51 am
[…] Via: molly […]
January 7th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Apparently, I will die of a Heart Attack at the age of 79. Well, that gives me 57 years of lovely life : )
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:18 am
very good
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:18 am
thanks
January 23rd, 2008 at 6:19 am
good
March 30th, 2008 at 6:27 am
thanks
June 18th, 2008 at 12:31 am
How ever you go, it`s good to find out.