molly.com
Friday 24 November 2006
Oh, Validator, Talk Dirty to Me
Some years ago Eric Meyer, Porter Glendinning, Jeff Veen and a crew of other folks were partying it up in San Francisco during a web conference. Given the fact that it was Halloween and I was dressed in full dominatrix regalia, naturally the topic took a turn for the proverbial nurse and before we knew it, we had a slew of new book titles such as “Between the Style Sheets” and “XXXhtml” and “Learn to DOMinate the Web.”
In that vein, a chat today inspired me to think that if we could only convince people writing validation software (W3C, Adobe, etc.) to have their validators offer up sexy responses, we could get more people working toward validation.
So, as a bit of fun, I thought perhaps we could come up with various errors, warnings, and comments that would make validation oh so much more pleasurable. What could a validator say regarding your markup and CSS that would encourage you to validate your documents?
Filed under: humor, standards, web design and development, creativity
Posted by: Molly | 1:21 pm |
November 24th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
“Document type does not allow element ‘BODY’ there; move your ‘BODY’ here, where it’s closer to my content.”
-based on one of my own template error messages
November 24th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
“If you keep adding incorrect attributes here I will have to spank you!”
November 24th, 2006 at 5:36 pm
If you have a clean BODY, some STYLE and you are up for it!
I am willing to be Strict and DOMinate you until you feel validated
very bad!!
November 24th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
MILF = Molly I’d Like to….
November 24th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
I’m sorry but you need to put the seat down after you <p>
November 24th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
Doggy <STYLE> is ok but I prefer <H1> on top.
You naughty boy … class=required on <INPUT>!
Position: absolute; is my favourite too!
Now be strict and I’ll re-validate all night long!
November 24th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
Are you wearing a DOCTYPE? (If it’s not on … it’s not on.)
You want to lay me out on the TABLE? Cute, but no - let’s do this properly …
doesn’t count. You need some STYLE / Get some CLASS / Do you have ID?
November 24th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
Um … that last one is supposed to be:
FONT SIZE=”x” doesn’t count. You need some STYLE / Get some CLASS / Do you have ID?
November 24th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
Error Line 87 column 75: reference to external outlet improperly used for insertion of OBJECT.
WARNING: OBJECT is not allowed here. There is a danger that inserted OBJECT may become EMBEDDED and require extraction. OBJECT not properly cleared may result in necessity of operation which would require ID, and loss of not only CLASS but also possibly external outlet integrity.
November 25th, 2006 at 2:33 am
Insertion of attributes in elements - oh pleeeassseee! Groovy. (ummm Austin Powers anyone?)
November 25th, 2006 at 4:41 am
I think my imagination has died. All I could come up with was:
Your markup kicks CLASS
Sorry!
November 25th, 2006 at 6:08 am
“You are soooo close, come on. come on just one more error and you’re there…. Left a bit, right a bit, there you go
”
November 25th, 2006 at 6:51 am
Your good content, style and naughty behaviour has got me in the mood for a threesome.
November 25th, 2006 at 8:16 am
I think this will be filtered out due to its spam-like crudeness but here goes:
Give me <HEAD> before having my <BODY>
November 25th, 2006 at 9:30 am
Actually I thought about making a reference myself, but as my first comment I didn’t want to start off by making the spam filter.
Additionally…
“You have a as open as Paris Hilton’s legs.”
November 25th, 2006 at 9:32 am
Should have been a “head” reference and “div” as open
November 25th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Ha, great stuff everyone. Karmatosed: LOVE IT!
eL: repost that if you have a moment and escape your angle brackets (sorry . . .)
November 25th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Real Error: value of attribute “align” cannot be “absmiddle”; must be one of “top”, “middle”, “bottom”, “left”, “right”
Amended Error: value of attribute “align” cannot be “absmiddle” - we prefer it “top”, “middle”, “bottom”, “left”, “right” or any which way actually! Change it and talk to us later about your Abs!
November 25th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
There’s a whole gold-mine of material to be had in using double entendre and, err, microformats.
I made the fatal mistake of running the W3C validator over my MySpace profile today:
http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myspace.com%2Ftommorris
The line between masochism and despair when faced with this kind of thing is quite thin.
November 26th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
The W3C know some probs of validation, but they work on a new way:
W3C Unicorn, the Web’s Universal Conformance Checker. At present in ALPHA TEST, but it have now (X)HTML and CSS Test in one check and a appc-checker to test the spelling of a site.
If all site in the world use valid code and the W3C recommendations, then all people can reach the sites, also persons with disabilities. But what happens?
Nothing, sites add multimedia, add flash, add animated images and the validations is not really important. They will visitors, not make really good sites.
November 26th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
You all folks given a chance, huh!
see these experts, see these styles.
Molly what doctype do you think is best!
November 26th, 2006 at 6:36 pm
“Sorry, but this document type is just *too damn sexy* for that ‘FONT’ tag.”
“There is no attribute ‘HEIGHT’. Remember: it’s not the size that counts, it’s what you do with it.”
“Required attribute ‘ALT’ not specified. Show me that you’ve got what it takes, baby.”
“ID ‘xxx’ already defined—we had our fun with it back on line 36.”
November 26th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
Okay, one more time… for the fan(s):
Actually I thought about making a head reference myself, but as my first comment I didn’t want to start off by making the spam filter.
Additionally…
“You have a div as open as Paris Hilton’s legs.”
And newly off the top of my head:
“Padding-bottom cannot equal 0, we’ll need at least 20, probably 40px.”
and
“This is not strict HTML 4.0, but I’m aroused nonetheless. Please connect your IDE hard drive to my floppy drive for XXXHTML validation.”
ERROR: your IDE cable is too short.
November 27th, 2006 at 12:36 am
alt text missing … it’s not just a good idea, it’s the law
November 27th, 2006 at 10:27 am
[…] Aufreizender Inhalt lockt nicht nur Leser an, wohl auch Webentwickler, dachte sich Molly E. Holzschlag und ersinnt gemeinsam mit ihren Lesern nette Fehlermeldungen, Warnungen und Kommentare für Validatoren: Oh, Validator, Talk Dirty to Me […]
November 27th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
Well, it’s not a sexy error message, per se, but it should be pointed out that PornoTube, the YouTube-inspired porn sharing site, manages to come breathtakingly close to validation. Surely if a pr0n site is doing it, it’s time to say that validation has entered the mainstream.
Though, of course, I’m particularly proud that IFILM comes a bit closer.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:27 am
Failed validation, 21 errors!
Sleeping with me won’t change that - fix your code!
;)
November 28th, 2006 at 9:32 am
Line 239 column 212: end tag for element “p” which is not open.
may we suggest some foreplay.
Line 577 column 15: document type does not allow element “li” here;
if you want to stick your “li” in here you’ll need lubricant.
December 2nd, 2006 at 12:30 pm
Well, Molly this is negativism, you have to punish erronous code by the absence of positive stimulation. It would be much better to give positive responses in the case of good results:
Your wellformed BODY is STYLEd perfectly.
The DOMina has been prepared for interactive stim^H^H^H^Hmanipulation.
Otherwise you condition the people to _produce_ errors for the sake of it.
December 3rd, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Please don’t lay me out on the tables… I much prefer the sheets
December 5th, 2006 at 12:52 am
“No DOCTYPE found!
Look. First the begging. Now the crying. If you had done it right the first time, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
Not exactly sexy, but I’m used to it.
December 8th, 2006 at 8:13 am
Well since the W3C API available, maybe with a bit of fiddeling someone might be able to make the XXXHTML validator?
December 10th, 2006 at 11:59 am
either float left, right or none
dont float:middle;
Tag: bra is not closed. Let me do it for you.
clear:both; align:center; repeat still it is validated
I am sorry!! But, according to doc.type you can’t insert an element here.
why don’t you remove bra tag to see perfect markup!
Molly thanks for the funny idea!! How about having a TF to create a XXXHTML validator!!
January 7th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I think the W3C validator is dirty!
These comments come strate from my experiance…
1. element title undefined
a. Basicallye the Validator wants to no if ur single
2.end tag for “head” which is not finished.
a. the male validator wants the female coder to finish off the “oral” relief
This one i made up
3. you down with o
a. Its either o or o, which aint as funny
I like this topic, but not alot of my mates understand wot i’m sayin, ya no wot i mean!
January 13th, 2007 at 11:34 am
[…] In the Spirit of reading slightly less than current posts I spotted this one of Molly’s. Oh, Validator, Talk Dirty to Me coincided with a conversation I had with Stu while he was making his very excellent Dom Tool. […]
February 23rd, 2007 at 10:01 pm
oh i want someone to fuck me until i bleedcould anyone of yu do that?
March 14th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Oh, I love your header Molly!
Fabio, Italy
July 4th, 2007 at 1:27 am
This is exactly what I expected to find out after reading the title Oh, Validator, Talk Dirty to Me. Thanks for informative article
August 12th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I have to say, that I could not agree with you in 100% regarding Oh, Validator, Talk Dirty to Me, but it’s just my opinion, which could be wrong
August 21st, 2007 at 8:43 am
Don’t forget that Safari and Firefox both have HTML Validators that use Tidy to validate web content. You can have your validator built right into your browser. And combine that with FireBug on FireFox, your set for the ultimate debugging system.
August 30th, 2007 at 9:38 am
.
August 30th, 2007 at 9:44 am
errrrrrrt
August 30th, 2007 at 9:46 am
tytyer
August 30th, 2007 at 9:50 am
sdsdds
August 30th, 2007 at 9:53 am
saqz
August 30th, 2007 at 9:55 am
wqaq
August 30th, 2007 at 9:58 am
reew
August 30th, 2007 at 10:01 am
vvvv
August 30th, 2007 at 10:04 am
nbbnnbb
August 30th, 2007 at 10:06 am
dfsdd
August 30th, 2007 at 10:09 am
fsd
August 30th, 2007 at 10:12 am
ssdxxd
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:10 am
thank you
September 22nd, 2007 at 6:26 pm
nice
October 4th, 2007 at 4:00 am
I have always been interested in this discussion. I am so glad i found you, because you ave shed quite a bit of light on the subject. Appreciate the info.
November 4th, 2007 at 1:23 pm
vielen dank
November 4th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
das was auch gut ist…
http://www.webbingtucson.com/Partner.html
merci
November 5th, 2007 at 11:50 pm
frichen, frichen, frichen
November 26th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
i wanna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snow on a feild. come on baby u dont know how much i want the puss in my mouth
December 9th, 2007 at 7:59 am
na eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snow
December 9th, 2007 at 8:00 am
ks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinalla snowna eat your cumming pussy so badly.
it looks like vinal
December 9th, 2007 at 8:00 am
frichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichenfrichen, frichen, frichen
January 31st, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Those who choose to take the “slights and disappointments” path, meanwhile, are very generously compensated for their trouble
February 8th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
thanks
March 7th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
thanks
March 30th, 2008 at 10:44 am
thanks
May 28th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
thankyou ..
June 7th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
thanks
June 7th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
thank you
June 8th, 2008 at 7:29 am
thanks.very good.