molly.com
Saturday 22 July 2006
I’ll Have a Redesign with My Liver Transplant, Please
This story is serious as a heart attack and almost too ridiculous for me to wrap my head around. Help me out.
I received a big welcome packet from (finally) a health insurance plan, full of exclusions and riders but a plan nonetheless. In the packet are several “member’s discount” items, including low-cost vitamins, chiropractic care and health club memberships. All understandable, as they relate to well-being. Okay, no problem there, right?
I get to the last page and what’s being promoted?
“Customized Web Services”
Web design services (redesigns a specialty) with HTML programming “experts” and “Web Marketing Promotion Specialists” at the ready to help you get your site up and running in a few days. And a 20% discount for health plan members!
I’m thinking I’ll take a redesign with my liver transplant, please. How about you?
Filed under: humor, pop culture, web design and development
Posted by: Molly | 20:22 | Comments (32)
Really – this is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever heard of…(nearly)
Are you going for it?!!
ha ha… are you sure they’re real surgeons and they have real livers? Surgeons that code up could be pretty handy under pressure – paper cuts for instance.
In some ways its close to what I found in Macworld this week… seems like they are running out of ideas… the august issue on page 83 has ‘CSS Tricks for custom Bullets’. They might get ready for sell “Customized Web Services” soon. LOL
Molly, I think I can explain.
No doubt you read Andy Clarke’s “Lost any CSS lately?” http://www.stuffandnonsense.co.uk/archives/lost_any_css_lately.html that discussed several cases of losing your CSS.
Now consider this scenario:
- Web developer loses CSS by ingesting or inhaling it.
- This CSS causes serious medical problems. A display: none is accidentally applied to the kidneys, that sort of stuff.
- The web developer is treated, the surgeons discover the lost CSS and extract it.
- Said surgeons are required by contract to hand over this lost CSS to the insurance company.
- Now the insurance company has this HUGE pile of lost CSS for FREE, and offering a 20% discount on building web sites becomes financially possible.
- As to the “experts” they mention, these are probably the people that swallowed the CSS in the first place. If they’re competent web developers, their CSS is pretty good, and the insurance company gets quality code for free.
As you see, applying a bit of logic can explain even the most baffling situation.
Some operations we do to fix web sites require minimal invasive surgery, others are getting really bloody. But the analogy fails for organ transplant: You’ll need another human with some similar characteristics, a dead body, for transplantation. We wouldn’t do that with two websites, or would we? I should sent my CV and references to your insurance. Maybe they hire site-surgeons. I’ll try my best with your liver, have faith.
Fortunately or unfortunately the fact that web design and web development have become in-fashion contributes greatly to the amateurization of our field. That said, it’s only natural that we’ll start seeing more and more people providing (or actively selling) web-related services with our everyday items – like our liver transplants
Now, whether that’s a good or a bad thing I’m still wondering (it raises awareness but diminuishes quality). But I know for a fact that I’d laugh my head off were I the one getting that flyer.
Hey, but thinking about it… 20%’s a good deal, huh?
I think sooner or later once most people/industries have delt with a web design company they will be able to see a clear distinction between the fly-by-night I took a cource in flash web designers compaired to those who actually care about their field and the industry.
or at least one can hope…
Guys, I’m glad it’s not just me that found this outlandish.
PPK, that’s hysterical. I’m laughing so hard said liver will likely fall out. Then Ingo can dig in.
That is just the most BIZZARE form of ad placement that I’ve ever heard of…
But would it be an accessible transplant…?
Eeeuuuww!
Bizarre – Almost like our supermarkets in the UK doing funeral plans.
take tesco.com – They are a supermarket – but do credit cards, home loans, loans, broad band, mobile phones hell they will even give you a free phone if you take their phone plan…next in line – WEB DESIGN!?
(most of the above is available in Tesco Value format – for you and me thats cheap and nasty.)
Now –
Tesco finest web design – full css with a feel of zen garden
Tesco value design – table based layout with spacer.gif’s? Scrolling marquees are extra.
Mark my words…
PPK, you kill me!
I don’t see what all the fuss is about. It’s all quite logical to me.
An insurance company’s job is to reduce its own exposure to risk. That’s why, for instance, some health insurance companies offer extra incentives for customers to get annual checkups, and perhaps head off potentially more catastrophic (i.e., costly) care if some ailment is left undetected and untreated.
I can therefore only surmise that this insurance company has had to pay numerous claims for treatment of ailments arising from web design activities. Converting a table-strewn site to CSS has certainly driven many a designer to drink. Googling and then structuring CSS hacks to work with all possible browsers must have incited spousal abuse at some point. Scripting the DOM with a package of Oreos within reach leads to obesity (trust me on this one).
With the impending arrival of IE 7 and how it will destroy many a CSS-hacked page, as well as the anticipated anguish of not being able to use E4X except in Mozilla browsers for awhile, this company is acting just like a homeowners insurance company that looks at hurricane forecasts. It’s a purely preventative measure.
Makes perfect sense.
With apologies to Quintin Tarantino:
“The way your dad looked at it, this CSS was your birthright. He’d be damned if any of the slopes were gonna get their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his a–. Five long years, he wore this CSS up his a–. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the CSS. I hid this uncomfortable piece of code up my a– for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the CSS to you.”
(Naughty bits excised in case little children or nuns happen to be reading this…)
Ah, good old cross-marketing. The day will come when someone pays big bucks to have an ad for their product forcibly tattooed on the insides of our eyelids.
Danny: Brilliant! Although it’s not oreos that are my downfall.
See, we always said web standards were good for your health!
Hah!
A new use for Web 2.0 – not only do you provide the content, but the stylings as well. Next thing you know they’ll use all the left over bits to build something else – ooops they did that already can anyone say Vista.
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thanks
thankyou ..
thanks you.good site and news.
thanks you.good