molly.com
Saturday 17 June 2006
Learning to Receive
The world has been in a very dark place lately, and my brother Linus has always pointed out that it appears my own strengths and fortunes have always reflected what was happening on a global scale. There is so much greed, violence and strife, and I am most of the time in a country which is becoming more militarized every day and seeks, in its greed, to harm and destroy rather than heal and rebuild.
One challenge I have always had is difficulty receiving. Be it gifts, love, kindness, anything positive. Yet, my own spirit is so generous that it will give beyond my human ability to sustain. I think I value others far more than I do myself. An example would be that it’s far easier for me to comfort an upset friend – no matter how much pain I might be in – than to allow that friend to comfort me. From these last days it’s evident how much I need to learn to receive the amazing love that people offer, and while it shores me up and undeniably is a huge piece of healing, I find receiving love profoundly uncomfortable. It makes me feel greedy and selfish, and needier than I’d like to believe I am. That I’m taking something from someone, when I should be the giver!
I want to learn how to receive. Do you struggle with anything similar, and if so, what strategies or methods do you use to get beyond that? Any practical tips to get beyond this block in my head and through it to my heart?
Filed under: faith(less)
Posted by: Molly | 03:17 | Comments (25)
The only way to break the wall inside you is to learn to love yourself. One method to reach this huge goal is active positive thinking about yourself.
Try to listen to what people are saying. When they have finished, take the time to think through what they have said and work out whether you agree with it or not.
Before you can receive the love of others you’ll need to learn to love yourself. The only way to love yourself is to forgive yourself, cut yourself some slack. If you don’t, you’ll never feel “worthy” of others’ love and you’ll always feel uncomfortable with it. The odds are that you place unrealistic expectations (personal and professional) on yourself and beat yourself up when you can’t meet them. You need to realize however that you’re human, like everyone else, and though it may seem like other people have their acts together, we’re all struggling to maintain the appearance of control and we’re all petrified that sooner or later someone will catch on. Reminding yourself of how things really are brings all those expectations down to a manageable level and allows you to cut yourself slack.
BTW, here’s a perfect illustration of how things aren’t really the way they seem. Now if only someone could pull back and illustrate the masks we all wear…
Yes, learn to love youreself more so that there is no doubt that you are worthy of receiving. Yes, listen to what people are saying and accept what they are offering if you feel it is what you need.
Acknowledge what you need and seek it out, and, when you find it, accept it. Just jump in. It can be scary, but it is scarier if you don’t.
And when anyone offers to help say yes, thank you I would like that – and then set the time frame, such as yes, I would like that now, in a little while, or I will let you know when. And don’t be afraid to repeat and continue to ask for what you need.
Know that when you lose faith, you are taking a chance on falling back into the hole of darkness or missing what is already available to you. And when you feel that starting, immediately reach out.
Keep up the good work. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time – whatever it takes. And don’t ever forget about all the people who care.
Sending you big, warm, safe hug and kisses.
Dear Ms. Holzschlag,
I don’t know you but I have feeling that you are very, very GIVING person.
Hence,
You know the FEELING inside you get when YOU GIVE … THAT … is the FEELING the GIVER has in GIVING you something.
Hence,
When you RECEIVE from this GIVER, you are receiving with mutual FEELING inside … you are both ONE.
Therefore, call up that GIVING FEELING from inside when you are RECEIVING. The GIVER will be VERY HAPPY. Hence, you have turned the RECEIVE into a GIVE!
Kind Regards &
always think sunshine,
Vladimir A. Toman
I do not know why I didn’t see this before but you likely have what is often called the caretaker personality disorder. Please recognize that I do not like such labels because this kind of assumption of saying “the good things about me are bad” is not so healthy either, but…since you want to understand why you have trouble receiving and accepting I think you can find help by looking up this topic.
Again I think you should purchase Melody Beattie’s “the Language of Letting GO” and do this ASAP; there are pages/sections devoted to receiving, caretaking, co-dependency, alcoholism and any amount of things you are going through right now. Her wisdom is undeniable and of course she has been through it all. But go easy, approach just a couple things at a time, that is all you need right now.
If you do try to find the aforementioned book, maybe more important would be to pick up a book of your favorite cartoons, (I like Calvin and Hobbes, myself). Right now you need to laugh and stop thinking so much, AND SLEEP. Try to quiet those incessant thoughts, try meditation (which could help in innumerable other ways). If you have not meditated before find a method that is all about “allowing” or just noticing the breath and only quieting the mind, not some intensive method of meditation that focuses on solving problems.
Most importantly… GUESS WHAT?
You do not have to start to solve all your problems all at once!
As they say sometimes “Our weakness is our strength and our strength is our weakness.”
So…
You are obviously a highly empathetic and intellectual person and a GREAT PROBLEM SOLVER; while, it seems to me that these traits may be what have gotten you so many friendships and other positives in the world, these traits are also at least partially the problem now. Could it be that it is mostly the way you think about, dissect, interpret, and handle the world that has gotten you into this depressive pickle that you’ve found yourself in.
(Please excuse this if it seems too personal, but I sense I should say that….)
Molly you have to learn to Give up control! The only thing you really have to attack right now is getting your body into a healthier state and then your emotions and your mind will follow. But, if you really need to be effective maybe you could just go back to the suggestions of some of your friends about diet options and maybe focus on enjoying healthy food right now. Something that helps me get grounded as much as anything is a type of eating meditation… I think they say its something like you should “chew your liquid and drink your food’ and basically this means focusing on the “everything of the eating” and dissallowing any unrelated thoughts; nothing in your mind other than noticing the sensations that come from the meal. It has been proven that meals approached in this way are processed much more efficiently by one’s body. Most importantly, you won’t be thinking about your problems and you will even notice that some things are experienced for the very first time. Imagine never before having eaten a glistening, blackish-red cherry ever before and then taking that very first bite.
Whatever you decide, I have been where you are and I know that for now, you just need to focus on what you can honestly achieve and that is to just try to take care of YOU. Forgive me again, but it even sounds like in this blog that you are wanting to improve yourself as a person and focusing on some all but non-existent shortcomings…for now that is not at all necessary.
In relation, I was worried when I saw you bring this up earlier, so, do not decide that you have to atone for the wrongs that you’ve done in the past any time soon. That time will come as more clarity and more peace is present. Another thing is that you need to stop thinking about the state of the world; you are just one person and right now you are not feeling very well so you can not do much about changing the world until you get yourself better. If you really want to improve the world in any way you have to get well first. Again, I really think this will only happen with sleep, humor, and quiet peace.
Other suggestions are…turn off the news, stop reading the paper, cut off any media that approaches depressing things. Maybe just go and sit in nature. Try to stop thinking so judgmentally about the state of the entire world and even the state of your life for that matter. Again as one of your friends said in the last couple days, you should realize that your thoughts are not really coming from your spirit and are not the totality of who you are (as a spirit), this depression is so much a product of the methodology of your thought and interpretations of happenings around you. YOU CAN DECIDE TO EVEN STOP INTERPRETTING THINGS FOR A WHILE! For one thing, there has always been dark in the world just as much as there has always been light – its in how you look at things.
Just try to be positive and maybe even consider taking a break from this blog, except to let everyone know how you’re doing of course.
All you should really be doing right now is TRYING to enjoy LIFE. Eat, sleep, be with friends and try to be merry, listen or play some of your favorite music even if you don’t feel like it. Do anything that is silly and pointless like rent some Three Stooges. Do you like to paint?
Realize, that you can not make the world good but life can be good if you only allow it.
Peace.
Here is a site with some uplifting videos that might help now or later.
http://www.lightmovie.com/
http://www.youarelovemovie.com/
There are others and the site is much different since I was last there, still I think you will enjoy most of it (I just hope it is not too emotionally charged).
I find that people are either a majority giver, or a majority receiver in life… and you may move from one to the other, but it is just part of the way you are and there is very little that you can do to work on the balance.
One idea is to change the mentality you use to approach the situation. You are obviously a generous and giving person, whether it be in the knowledge you share or other aspects of life. You do not need to give to the person you receive from though, and you do not need to receive from the person you give to.
Essentially I take the whole Karma approach to it and that seems to work. I have a certain friend who always gives generously to me, and he rarely takes back. So I give to others. They rarely give back to me, but perhaps they give to others… and maybe somewhere along the line that will lead to something being given back to the friend that gave to me in the first place.
Just my two pennies / two cents, whichever you prefer.
Like anything, it is easier the more you do it.
Take small steps, take the plunge, and build from there.
I used to be terrified of going into meetings, but the more I did it, the easier it got. It was the same with asking favors from friends/family/etc. I used to want to solve all situations, problems, etc, myself… not always possible though.
People feel good helping me out, and it feels going knowing that I have people who are willing to help me.
Sadly, this is one lesson life seems to keep on teaching, whether we seem likely to ‘get’ it or not.
One — the most difficult, for me — approach, is to acknowledge that this is actually a bit of a power trip. To say I need to be in control is one thing; to own up to wanting to be in control ‘in relationship to others’ is more difficult.
Relinquish.
I can only tell you what I have experience Molly,
To be able to recieve from someone, first that person has to be in relationship with me. I am more inclined to receive from someone who is walking it out and who is going for the same goal like I am. To be sober, clean, not a taker, but a giver! My old life, the old Herman would do things his way, and that way was all about me. That way of thinking lead me to my bottom..
When I find I do not want to recieve from my authorities, wether it be at work, church, my landlord, whatever, it is because my pride is in the way and God forbid they intrude on my agenda. I had put faith in my authorities and acceped that they new what was best for me and they were not out to harm me, no matter what my paranoia mind might think. Time has proven to their credibility and so I continue with the journey..Also, I did a lot of observation and tested what they were asking me how to approach a life of being clean and sober.
Molly, when I started this journey, I totally had to surrender to a new way of thinking. I struggled in the beginning, I won’t lie to ya..and there were days when I literally had to take it “a day at a time”, (forgive the cliche), to get through….
It took 36 years to make me who I was and now I had to reverse a lot of what how I approached life….man!!!! what a challenge!!!! But I saw other’s doing it….so once again, patience is something I had to get aquainted with….did not like that AT ALL !!!!
Hey, you have so many years of experience of knowing what not to do, right!!! Now comes the what to do!! Did that make sense to ya?
Today, it is a lot better….
This has helped me a lot:
Where From?
Why Here?
&
Where Going?
It was always good for me to ask myself these question’s from time to time and not forget….those answere’s
I am not a religious person Molly,
I am a JESUS FREAK, if you will,
and all I can do is share what I have been through…the rest is up to you.
I can go on and on and on …….
Good Day, totally excited for ya….
Love,
I know how you feel, I used to feel like receiving was hard because you feel less than worthy of whatever it was you were receiving, no matter how big or small.
Like Ross Johnson mentoned earlier, just take small steps. There are many things you can do to help you. My personal method was to take a step back and realize how funny the situation is. It is akin to those sappy couples who talk on the phone and they tell each other “You hang up!”, “No, you hang up!”. It’s just weird after a while, and sometimes it helps to just stop it and take the gift with a smile on your face.
Think of the benefits: you’re receiving something and the giver is happy. When you get all of the muck out of the way, that’s all there really is too it. Hope it all works out for you!
Off Topic: can’t wait to see you and Andy in class in Hawaii this summer!
Molly [hugs]. I thought that I could relate to you mainly professionally because I am in that minority of female web developers/web “standardistas” and we are the same age. It wasn’t until I read your dark post of a few days ago (just today) that I realized just how MUCH we share. Please hang on. First, politically, these are dark times for anyone evolved enough to possesses a conscience and “big-picture view” in the U.S of A. But the pendulum always swings! Sometimes, reading of other similar political times in history (i.e. the 1920’s robber barrons and the attempts to stack the supreme court of that day), and realizing that we then had the 1960s and a time of great creative/progressive change. Sometimes great bursts of creativity are squeezed from us in dark times. And, personally, with your struggles with addiction, do reach out to others… Also, have you ever read anything of the Jewish Kabbalah tradition? It is sometimes hard to find quality writings amongst the “fluff”, but their understanding that we truly have both a component of light in us, but also an “opponent”, a component of dark, materialistic, short-term pleasure-seeking we must battle, helps me to understand that I am not just personally weak or worse than any other human being. It is the human condition to battle and integrate our dark sides — everyone struggles with something! So, you’ve recognized your personal “dark side”. Don’t you dare let it have the upper hand! You have something far too valuable to offer this world (tikkun olam – we are here to heal the world with our special gifts, we just have to stay our of our own way!).
“And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to the love you make.” – Lennon/McCartney
You give a lot, so take a lot.
Hi Kristin, (please take what I say with a grain of salt)
Maybe you should start to talk to someone about your depression and perhaps look within to see if there is a possibility that you have a certain need to control that is relative to your current state of feeling (as in you saying that you have so much in common with Molly)? It sounded to me like you were just about to open up and express a need for help and then you went right back into what looks like habitual patterns of thinking (to me).
I am sorry if this seems like an attack but please believe me that I am truly concerned for you, mostly because some of the things you said acted as a sort of a beacon to me and my tendencies. This is what you said…(if I were next to you I would want to ask to hold your hand so that you would realize this is not an attack, so if you could imagine that I would feel better about what I am going to bring up…I truly would like to see something good come out of this exchange for everyone)
(again) you stated….
“Please hang on. First, politically, these are dark times for anyone evolved enough to possesses a conscience and “big-picture view” in the U.S of A.” (Should we insert image of a gestural finger-snap motion here? ha ha – joke) Still…
One second you were expressing concern after saying that you were feeling so close to Molly and her situation, but then the next second I feel you were indirectly attacking someone. Some degree of anger seems to be apparent in the way you express yourself here, (to me anyway). Forgive me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be saying that you are more highly evolved than someone else? Does this mean intellectually, or spiritually, or both? Because of your line of work I might believe the intellectual part is highly possible. On the other point, the Truth is that we are all one spirit and so “more spiritually evolved” may not be possible.
Then Kristin, you accuse someone of not having a conscience (I am not sure if you see that). Whether you believe that you did this or not, that is quite a powerful thing to imply and if the object of your words were someone that is relatively fragile, then such words might do much to hurt that feasible other, basically in a subliminal manner and that is even more harmful. Joke: I guess if someone didn’t have a conscience then they wouldn’t really care what any one’s opinion is.
Personally, (like most) I believe that I have suffered much abuse in my life and I would much rather have someone attack me directly than subliminally because of how attacks of any kind are taken in and dealt with. It can take years to rid oneself of the harm of a subliminal attack, partly because there are likely so many remnants of similar hurts within us just waiting for more fodder. And then there’s the way we repeat what we’ve been exposed to and that is scary.
I should claim here that anger is a often a good thing, especially as a marker for recognizing how much power a situation holds for any of us.
In regards to the roundabout way you expressed yourself…there are studies that suggest that this may be a societally and gender related aspect of how women communicate and so I understand that you may have wanted to address someone directly but did not feel comfortable doing that; this can be relative to how a male-dominated society (which I am not comfortable with the insinuation of that, either) denies women their equal opinion, talks over them, drowns out their voice, etc; this is an unfortunate fact of our current state of being. In relation, how the genders interact is something that is infinitely interesting to me and I believe it is more complex than what we often realize. For instance how one might take comfort in easily relating to another that is of your same gender, rather than choose to grow by working through the difficulty of intercommunicating with the other kind. Personally, I think men should allow women to express any emotions towards us that they feel they need to in the interest of greater growth, as long as it does not become physical (physical in a bad way I mean, ahem).
That women, and men, in this and other societies easily believe men to be less empathic, spiritual, capable of nurturance, and so on and so on, is highly debillitating towards the growth of the entire human race, but…it is also true that it may be more comfortable for the majority of men to not be emotionally involved in many a greater thing. Yet, maybe that is just impossible at this particular time because so many men are not in ownership of the tools to make a different reality possible.
What I am finally getting at here is…there might be impossible complexity in anything we say due to the fact that there are as many impercievably complex interpretations of EVERYTHING said as there are people living in the world; Therefore, we have to be very careful and considerate of what we say and make sure there are no hidden agendas like extolling our own particular views to reinforce the validity of our own beliefs; beliefs that may very well be harmful to us and others.
Towards everyone I would like to say that what Molly (and others like her) needs is good advice and that does NOT involve anyones RELIGIOUS OR POLITICAL viewpoints. Molly is crawling out of the pit of depression. She was suicidal. If anyone here has never been suicidal then maybe that person should not contribute at all, but especially everyone should keep their religious and/or political dogma to themselves. THAT INCLUDES ME to whatever extent but I will say this…
Another of Molly’s friends was so angry about the “Jesus Freaks” and that bothered me because he was also expressing his dogma. It might be useful to him to recognize that those folks he was talking about just want to help despite their certain lack of ability to put themselves into Molly’s situation. Still, I will say that it is also very selfish for one to say that “I now have this friend in someone and because of this friendship I do not get so lonely like you” Whateva! If Molly wanted to know more about Jesus, then that might be great, but I am sure she would ask for that advice in particular but only if that is what she felt she needed it. Still, it sounds like Molly already has a religion that is her birthright and that should be respected.
It may be useful for some to find that when one is as depressed as what Molly was, and how I’ve been recently, and apparantly how Kristin has felt lately too, there is a certain feeling of shame that we assume for the whole human race that we wouldn’t want to have to hang out with (someone as perfect as) Jesus right now, it would be embarrassing, to say the least. I’m still kinda joking here but I am working towards making another point.
Some of us that are in depression do not feel saved and that is the problem. Some of you telling us you’re (religious) world is all good when we are feeling terrible is of no real use for us right now. You are hoping that maybe it will stick with us and wash over us at some point of hopeless weakness or in some instance of glorified illumination (and I believe that may be possible) but such words go far to drown out any advice that is going to be truly helpful in the right now and in this present desperate situation. Certainly, the good intention is there and it is good (god [godliness]) to accept the kindness of the intention of seeing anyone want to help someone in need, but we should try to leave religion out of this and simply focus on
OUR SHARED SPIRITUALITY
THE BINDING FORCE OF LOVE AND COMPASSION
That which makes us all brothers and sisters in absence of any systematic compilation which tells us some are right or wrong.
——————-
Of all the things I’ve said before, I mostly believe what could be the most help would be this…
(Yes the state of the world is trying (to say the least) and yes everyone that is capable needs to contribute in some way to make the world a better place),
—but Molly, you have been terribly depressed because you focus so much on things outside of yourself and that realization should take you to a place where you need to recognize a need to focus primarily on you, for right now.
So again I will say “turn everything else off” and recognize the simple things that are keeping you alive, enjoy them and remember only in the back of your mind that it was your overwhelming need to control that had taken you to such a dark place.
Only you, Molly, know in your heart what is truly healthy right now, and also what is in opposition to that. That is why I suggested quiet. But when the ugly thoughts pop up that is when to get together with those you really trust (those that will not take advantage of you in some interest to pull you to their way of dealing with things).
You own your answers in your spirit Molly and that truth will make you safe.
It is finally time to take care of yourself.
If lonely, just remember that you are never alone, because there is definitive proof of like-spirits in the world who recognize similar pain and wish the best for you, no matter what name/s they assign to their god/s.
We all share hardship and we all share a propensity towards perfect love, and recognizing that might bring so many different people together.
perhaps some of the only expert advice for you:
Book Description
For more than a decade, millions of readers have turned to Beattie’s classic meditation book, THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO, as a wellspring for daily reflection, affirmation, and change. With honesty and encouragement, she reminds readers that each day is an opportunity for renewal.
http://melodybeattie.com/library/llg.htm
http://www.amazon.com/gp/sitbv3/reader/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-2624038-5018368?%5Fencoding=UTF8&asin=0894866370
How to finally receive? It’s a simple lesson I too had to learn:
GIVE.
Allow others to be generous to you.
Give them the freedom to go overboard on your behalf.
Let them feel good about giving to you.
Agree with them when they tell you they value you.
Accept the fact that some people love you despite your shortcomings.
Give the gift of gratitude as often as you can.
I have the same situation, especially in my country. I used to write everything I feel into my blog. At teh same time, I keep trying to pray to Jesus.
here’s a babystep you can do. pay attention to the inner monologue. (we’re all doing it, almost all the time.) ask yourself “would i say that to somebody i *liked*?” and also “would i say that to a friend?”
here’s the trick: it is your enemy’s job to stop you from being happy. it is your enemy’s job to say mean things about you. do not do your enemy’s job for him.
peace, molly.
Heya Molly. When people give, they generally do it because it makes them happy. Grandparents spoil children because they get a kick out of it. I do it. You do it, possibly more frequently than you should. There is no “true” altruism – we’re always being a little bit selfish about it when we help someone else, and that’s OK.
So who are you to deny someone who gives you something the happiness that they derive from the act of giving? Lap it up!
I think everyone struggles with learning to receive, some more than others, some less.
From my experience it’s partly wanting to get the other person to keep giving me compliments. I.e., by disagreeing with them, they’ll reinforce the nice thing they just said by saying it again.
Also, I find there’s something that rejects the compliment. I wilfully refuse to receive. I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because I don’t understand love that isn’t based on people trying to help me. If I start to receive, and begin to believe in myself, I won’t need to be encouraged any more and my whole mechanism for feeling loved will go!
That’s irrational, of course, but it’s how our hearts work
I notice that you’re already open to receiving, since you have received the care people have shown you in the comments here. I think a lot of it is learning how to do that with people when they’re offline
Molly – wow – that’s a great insight: “I think I value others far more than I do myself. .it’s far easier for me to comfort an upset friend – no matter how much pain I might be in – than to allow that friend to comfort me.”
Part of what makes this so puzzling and frustrating for me at least is that for some of us the challenge of communicating frailties and needs are among the hardest things we face. And that’s before we even get to the part where we’d allow ourselves to accept comfort and assistance.
Anyone with easy answers is likely either naive or egotistical because we each has a story that is unique.
There are a million reasons why things are as they are.
Some of us grew up in surroundings where approval, security, safety – or other needs – were impossible to find and we adapted warped our thinking and behavior accordingly. Then over time we became so good at putting up facades we may not even recognize our own needs when we have them.
Others of us are chemically wired to create brain cells destined for depression or anxiety – or my personal favorite, the “I am a hermit” reaction that I tend to fall back on – just as others’ cells may be wired for Lupus or Diabetes.
And at the same time we’re unable to express needs or welcome help we’re often surrounded with at least some people who spend lots of time soaking up things from others. For them to see our frailties may be impossible even on the off chance that we’re letting them be seen . . . and if they _did_ notice what tiny percentage of people would ACT on what they saw?
So the mere omission of those most innocent ‘others’ in failing to notice our deterioration, our increasing frailties or what seems to us a clear case of falling apart adds to what we’re learning – reinforcing our flawed thought process, our experiences and our beliefs.
As long as those around us fail to make any move of assistance – well isn’t that all the more reason we can feel that our refusal to ask for or accept help is normal and reasonable? We can then feel increasingly unworthy of anything more.
On it can go, with us trying to act more and more un-needy and super-together and the rest of the world being left out or clueless – no matter what the reason
On the other hand you seem to have wonderful friends here and I’m willing to bet you’re ‘meeting’ more all the time. But that said, friends aren’t able to give us what we can’t accept. And learning to first admit what we need and then allowing others to give it to us is a hard walk through rough terrain. Looks like a number of us are taking it at the same time though, so it may be easier going on some level if we hold out a hand for the other guy.
It’s probably impossible to convey how much I admire your strength and insight in beginning – and continuing this conversation.
PS – Some of us intellectualize it all too. Way more easy to deal with it that way.
Hi Molly, one simple comment, since I have the same problem, and also believed that I was a giver. I realized that I was giving because of need, dependence, approval, and not because I was open and heart oriented. I was being selfish, and the same I think that applies to you, since when we don’t receive, we are not giving other the chance to feel that wonderful feeling of giving (and being accepted). So when you say I’m a giver, you are having that good feeling of giving, you may feel very well, but why you are not giving “others” the chance to feel that feeling of giving when they try to give you (???). That is a part of being selfish, and I don’t mean remind it to you in negative way but only as a way to open your eyes a little bit, seen it from another perspective.
Of course there is an issue with low self esteem and being unworthy of love, etc. and the problem is in the feeling, before going to change thoughts/beliefs, I have found working on myself. I recommend you a few things:
0) “let it go: must be a great work to do (mentioned by someone else).
also cry and laugh as much as you can (I have really trouble with both, more with crying (IF YOU KNOW SAD MOVIES, PLEASE LET ME KNOW)
1) feel the feeling of been unable to receive, stay with it, feel it in your body, welcome it, don’t push it way, treat it as a messenger and helper instead of an enemy.
2) after a while, try to see what is in the background, what your thoughts say, and later what your beliefs about it are.
3) you will notice some emotional discharge after this, and then you can start doing small steps.
4) positive affirmation will help you, more in the sense that when anyone doesn’t fit in into your emotional body, it will give you a kick. THERE is where you have to work, there is the block.
5) you can also can check inner child work, there are wonderful materials, see below.
6) forgiveness is for sure something you may need to do.
7) grief work, maybe you have something to do with, see below in materials.
Materials:
0) http://WWW.Emoclear.com (SIMPLY GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
1) Forgiveness:
* Jack Kornfield CD
* Radical forgiveness web site (Both are great)
2) inner child work:
* John Bradshaw different tapes and books
* HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW HOW (Great book by Jacqueline Bishop)
3) Loving-kindness
CD by sharon Goldberg (Jack Kornfield’s Forgiveness has a small session)
4) Other books and material
* Leaving with Joy, by Sanaya Roman, great book in general (see web site http://www.orindaben.com)
* Grief process audio cassette, Steve Levine
* GREAT SITE, listen this guy: Dr Rick Moss at http://www.essentialpathways.com.
LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING, OU CAN HELP ME WITH YOUR FEEDBACK…
NAMASTE, NELSON
[...] Learn to be accepting. Train your brain and emotions to open up so that you are willing to receive love and affection in return from others. Recharge your emotional battery so that you have more for yourself and to give others when it counts. [...]