molly.com
Saturday 11 March 2006
<object>ification blues
Standing with two colleagues
at South by Southwest
One says to the other
“The film girls are the best . . .
These geek girls aren’t pretty
they’re spotty and fat
but the girls in film
are really all that.”
I’m standing there as if they don’t care
Looking at my shoes
Cuz I’m a fat and ugly geek
I got the <object>ification blues
Two years ago in these same halls
An ugly man with iron balls
said “I’ve built a dating site, isn’t it fun?
but if you’re fat or forty, don’t bother to come . . .
These geek girls aren’t pretty,” he said
“they’ve got funny clothes and glasses
there aren’t enough blondes, and what’s with those big asses?”
I was standing right there like they don’t care
That I’ve more than paid my dues
And despite that I’m a bright, successful girl
I sing the <object>ification blues
Today I’m sitting here
Once again at South by Southwest
Wondering why if I’m so horrid
The boys still stare at my breasts
And speaking of these boys
They’re mostly skinny and wear bad shoes
But look at the way they have the gall
to judge us women one and all
That’s why I have
That’s why I have
That’s why I have
the <object>ification blues
Filed under: society
Posted by: Molly | 09:57 | Comments (49)
ion!
Molly, you are wonderful.
You are a diamond.
A star in the sky.
You are unique.
Why should you care about 2 geeks?
Or a million of them?
We all can and should change to be better, but I’m far from sure that what we need to change is our big ass, spots, breasts, clothes or glasses.
BTW you haven’t closed your open .
classic rhyme, molly! (props++) I had no idea you were waxing poetic when we talked earlier this morning, but to me an open mind wins out over the culturally-defined sterotypes of a ‘perfect ass’ any day. feh on the vapid, cookie-cutter, spokesmodel types – personalities like that bore me silly… confident individuality is far, far more sexy IMHO
I think the geek girls with glasses look good myself!
Ditto on what Scott said though…
My husband was laughing at breakfast this morning at all the conformity among these “nonconformists”… It’s his first geek convention… LOL
Love your rhyme … you’re pure talent in a variety of avenues… can’t wait to see you today! Ciao
Awwwww yeah.
I’m fat and dumpy, have a lame beard and bad shoes, and you’re more than welcome to look at my breasts, Molly. We stare because we care…
I’m sorry, really, I couldn’t help myself.
If I look down, it’s likely because the name badges are way too low.
Just trying to work out why you called them colleagues, in that context such a neutral word is a compliment, they need much worse names!
AND/OR
The reason they didn’t think to avoid saying such things is that you obviously don’t fit into either category, you’re so much more
society called me guilty and i’m a guilty man
the judge and jury hung me in the name of the common man
they threw me into prison vans and locked me down in cells
and when the lights got turned out at night they told me to rot in hell
i was called a dog by the men i fought and they vowed to put me down
i was called a hard man by men who walked the hard yards up and down
i was called a scum and a rat and a fool and made to believe their words
but only a man who wears the name becomes those shameful words
having lived by the fist and iron-bar grip in a prison yard for years
having been showered like cattle at the point of a gun
and been made to swallow my tears
i say stuff the judge, the jury, the guards and stuff the scums inside
and i’ll never believe a man’s true worth is tied to another man’s name.
Signed
Steven Clark (aka nortypig)
Prison number 248-84
Risdon Prison Inmate from May 1983 – November 1998
Originally sentenced to the term of my natural life
and commuted to 21 years with 12 1/2 non-parole
NOW A FREE MAN regardless of all those names…
so molly don’t for a minute believe any of those labels people put on you in life…
i’m feeling a little odd myself after watching Walk the Line last night at the cinema with my partner… so please forgive the nortypig history lol… Folsom Prison Blues and San Quentin and a couple of beers…
cheers molly.
yeah, live in orange county, ca for a while.
home to more strip malls
and girls with plastic parts
than you can shake a stick at.
there’s a formula for the look.
and it’s all the same.
the feigned, giggly happiness.
the identical clothing.
the identical hairstyle and highlights.
come for a visit.
i’ll take you to the mall.
you’ll laugh.
and you’ll remember, with relief, just how awesome you are.
If it gets you down, stop thinking about it.
The truth of the matter is that it’s normal to objectify, and everyone does it. Without that objectification you could never form an innitial opinnion about anyone or anything. And that’s a point to remember – it’s purely innitial oppinion, and even those doing the objectifying will be the first to admit that their innitial oppinion lasts only until they start having some interaction with whatever/whoever is being the subject of the objectification, and it’s the least valuable oppinion they will hold, and the easiest to change (because it’s based on nothing much at all).
[...] One of the reasons I like RSS so much is that it means I can subscribe to lots of sites, even ones that will only have content that interests me a few times a month, and be sure I won’t miss that content when it comes around. One of those times happened the other day, when Molly posted her <object>ification blues. (That’s not to say Molly doesn’t have lots of interesting and good things to say all the time, just that most of it isn’t Roastable, so you never get to see I’m reading it. I do recommend you subscribe to her feed though. Lots of gold buried in them thar hills!) [...]
Staring at breast, ass and shoes of others is owing to the sublime imagination that one could fit its personality into the molded appearence. They may have arrived at a matching of their minds with the first impression of their own, who knows. Being stared-at, only to disappoint someone else’s illusions again, requires bravery. Our wish to keep their disappointment to a moderate level would force us to loose some pounds, speak their words, act like they want.
SXSW 2006 Day 1
Saturday is the first day of panels but I already felt like so much had transpired. Friday was a great day to meet a whole lot of people. Turns out I’d meet just as many, if not more, on Saturday….
Those film girls work hard for that very reaction. They spend their dedicated time (and $$) on their hair, their clothes, their makeup, their gym schedule. They didn’t just fall out of the sky all made-up and fashionable.
From their dedication, they get a result. Would you really ever want to trade the goopy stares and judgements of men on the street for the results of your dedicated time?
There is a middle ground too. Nobody can tell you what that balance should be, but I personally used to believe that if I tried to look pretty, that (a)Nobody would respect my intelligence, and (b)I would probably fail anyways. One day, I came to the conclusion that I was abdicating the field of battle. Since then I have chosen to allocate a tiny part of my time to film girl pursuits. It has worked well for me, but there is no universal right answer for this kind of balance. What would give you satisfaction Molly?
SXSW Day 0
What a whirlwind of a day that was. The Friday was just registration which left plenty of time for socializing. The day started off at noon going to the convention centre and lining up for “the badge”. The badge is…
Molly, that’s the funniest entry you’ve ever posted.
This is the first time I’ve read anything on here. A friend of mine directed me. I must say that I really liked this and I will be back for more of molly.com.
2 fangas!
When asked who are the best teachers, parents and students alike most often (not always! Just most often) choose teachers who are a) young and b) pretty (by conventional standards).
ification
It took awhile, but I got the joke, too!
[...] Even though I’ve bemoaned my absence from SxSWi this year, I remember having these self same blues last year. Do they ever go away? Even though you probably wouldn’t give said geeks the time of day (except for one or two of them), why do I allow myself to feel diminished in others’ eyes? [...]
Let’s look at the flipside… you’re saying that skinny guys are unattractive? If so, I’m suffering from the same blues…
I don’t know what you’re talking about, because i was doing my best to attend SXSW this year to see you, Molly E. Holzschlag.
I’m want to be like Andy Hume, “see me not at SXSW 2006″. (http://thedredge.org/2006/02/as-always-i-wont-be-at-sxswi/)
Why don’t you sing the blues about a secret admirer, lurker, who never has the gall to communicate with you, who just hunches his yellow back bone while he gleans your every typed word for a secret code that was meant only for him?
Why can’t you sing a lullaby, that’ll sweep me off to sleep with semantic dreams?
One day I’ll attend a conference with you there, maybe.
Will I stare like they do? Yea, but you won’t catch me!
I’ll be staring at you while you talk, not looking anywhere, only absorbing your marked up wisdom and authoring in my mind how I would style your, I mean, my documents.
In the meantime, I will continue my quest for a place in this tribe looking, with you, for a better standard so we may all be able to communicate who we are.
Cheers!
Excellent, ma’m, excellent!
So, what’s the blues?
Going away from a pain You can’t live with and a (wo)man You can’t live without…
From W.C. over to B.B. King, John Lee Hooker to Walter Trout and all the other excellent Gents, they’d be all very proud…and of course Ladies like Rory Block or Bonnie Raitt!
Greets from Ritterhude (near Bremen, Germany, where Elvis, the King, really learned the Blues in his army time)
Arne
Well Molly, I think you’re beautiful just the way you are… I wouldn’t change a thing… Looking forward to seeing you again….
Personally, I have always found that the intelligent populous values beliefs, intelligence and a voracious personality as the components of an attractive person.
Seeing you interact with some attendees after your 10AM Web Standards / SEO panel definitely made me wish I was on the inside, experiencing the incredible atmosphere that you create.
As for the staring at various areas of the human body, that is a relic from our genetic programming.
Just remember which values are truly rated, ranked and indexed.
Molly, you know I loves ya and think you’re awesome just the way you are.=
And you know I love you all too! But the point isn’t why are peope staring – yeah, we all do that at times. The point is having the absolute gall to say it right in front of someone. That’s the part that hurts. So watch what you say, and teach your children better ways.
As for skinny guys, well my guy is skinny and I think he’s sexy as hell. I was just having a bit of revenge :: evil look ::
You know…the boys…the boys aren’t so perceptive. My best friend back home was once commenting on a girl saying how she was getting such a “fat ass.” Which , of course, crushed me as her ass was the size of one of my boobs. He didn’t even realize it. He was, like, “I don’t even see you that way.” See? He just started digging himself deeper.
What drives me crazy is that there are a million different ways for men to be considered attractive, but basically only one way for women to be considered attractive – and that look is unattainable for the vast majority of our population.
Fact of the matter is, I’ve met you and chatted with you and I think you’re damn gorgeous!
MoLLy!!
You’re readin my mind, and those of a million geeks w/breasts….
made my day…again
Hey, Molly. I always thought you were a very attractive woman, but I can see where you’re coming from.
Well call me a fool but thats a _very_ sexy look you’re throwing up there at the top of the page. If you’ve been dishing any of those out at SXSW, you’re bound to get a few back.
D’oh.. after all that web wondrousness you’ve been purveying over the years and you sucker me into commenting on this one..
Molly,
I swear to god i wasn’t looking at you boobs
Hey Molly,
I was in Foyles book store at the weekend and I was casually browsing the web design section when for the first time I saw your image offline – Using HTML and XHTML – beauty is the the eye of the beholder, I just know you got my attention.
Daz
At the risk of getting myself in serious trouble all over the pace – gimme the geek girls any day of the week please. Film (as they say in Brooklyn) schmilm
And even the film people said we had better parties too.
But come on interactive doods, get some grooming and l33t fashion skillz going.
That’s it Molly – next year we do a “fashion eye for the Geek guy” panel – what say?
j
[...] A poem by Molly E. Holzschlag that you can read here. [...]
I’m skinny, but you really can’t bag on my shoes.
It’s a vicious circle aint it. I mean if you see a black dude, chances are you will objectify him too. won’t you?
The antidote to that is the Richard Thompson rarity “I’ve got the hots for the smart” … once heard never forgotten …
All I can really say is, well done. Honestly, that was a wonderful poem to express a truthful sentiment.
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The antidote to that is the Richard Thompson rarity “I’ve got the hots for the smart” … once heard never forgotten …