molly.com
Wednesday 28 September 2005
Moments of Doubt and Glory
IT’S 5:00 AM IN SYDNEY and in just a few hours I am going to do something I’ve never done: keynote a conference, in this case the highly regarded Web Essentials 2005 event. Many readers are well aware that I’ve been on the conference circuit for a very long time, and have enjoyed many opportunities to speak to peers about topics I love, to learn from others in the process, and to travel the world while doing so.
But a keynote talk is a major milestone in my life, for a few reasons. We all have our times of doubt, and the last few years haven’t been easy ones in that regard for me. Just because a person seems to be successful doesn’t necessarily mean he or she feels that way. In fact, I’ve felt very unfocused, deeply confused as to who I am and my place in my profession and the role I play, and have felt the wear and tear of too much hard living and work burnout. At many levels, I feel unworthy of such an honor, much less one that is coming from such a highly regarded group. On the other hand, I know I’ve put in so many years and passion as an evangelist and teacher about Web technologies and the Web itself that at some point the recognition is something I do deserve.
Funny how we are, isn’t it? We get something great in life and question whether we’re worthy, even when everyone around us believes we are. We get something bad in life, and we complain, but we often are the cause of the bad thing or in those cases where we’re not, we feel responsible at some level, or that we deserve bad. This is a mindset I see in almost everyone I know - it’s a rare and valuable thing to have self-esteem. I’ve always been good at coming off as though I have it, but I don’t. What I do have is a certain cockiness and fuck-the-naysayers mentality, and that’s what’s gotten me to this point.
I guess what I want to express here is that I’m pretty blown away to be honored in such a way. I want to be worthy of this honor and I want to rock that audience later today as best as I can with as much passion and all the love I have for people, for my peers, and for my readers and supporters who have helped me get to this place that many speakers and authors never get to. My own mother told me last week that it was something she had always wanted to achieve: to keynote an event within her profession, and it’s something she never did achieve. She also told me that now I, as her daughter, am able to achieve that dream for her as well.
So I hope you’ll indulge me in a toast on this very important day in my life.
Here’s to my wonderful hosts here in Australia, to serving my peers and community with passion and pride, to giving my mother the piece of something she’d always wanted but never achieved, and to rising above my own self-doubts and feeling the glory and goodness of achievement that we all deserve.
Thank you all for helping me to achieve this day.
Filed under: faith(less)
Posted by: Molly | 12:29 pm |
September 28th, 2005 at 12:43 pm
You so deserve that honor Molly and there are many of us who will continue working on you until you believe it too.
Congratulations and good luck!
September 28th, 2005 at 12:50 pm
Here’s to you Molly. I think most people feel like a fake at some time in their life. You most certainly aren’t one. thanks for all the work you do.
September 28th, 2005 at 1:08 pm
You’ll do brilliantly Molly. Congratulations, you’re a shining star!
September 28th, 2005 at 1:17 pm
Enjoy it, and know that you do deserve it Molly. We will be sure to drink plenty of red wine in your honour this evening.
September 28th, 2005 at 1:36 pm
Imposter syndrome is a well understood problem among those of us who do this for a living. I still get very nervous before presentations and am always surprised when asked to present, let alone keynote.
Break a leg. You’ll knock ‘em dead, I’m sure.
See you soon. xoxo
September 28th, 2005 at 1:40 pm
G’day, Molly. By the time you read this it’ll probably all be over with and you’ll be basking in the glow. Wish I could be at that conference!
September 28th, 2005 at 2:14 pm
Have fun! You deserve it!
September 28th, 2005 at 5:52 pm
nice one…the “first lady” of web standards
September 28th, 2005 at 7:00 pm
Well communicated. Some of those paragraphs could very well have been written by me. Have fun! I hope it goes well!
By the way, you’re one of the people that inspired me to take the leap from Blogger to Movable Type (even though you use Word Press.) Thanks.
September 28th, 2005 at 8:41 pm
It is an honour to give such a key note and it is an honour that you very much deserve Molly. Somebody better be getting in on video too because I’m very jealous that I can’t be there.
September 28th, 2005 at 10:05 pm
CONGRATULATIONS! I’m new here in Sydney and am very sad to have found out to late about the event, but I will absolutely be there for ‘06. Cheers to you and I’m confident you will do well! Public speaking is so not my thing, so I commend you even more so on that.
Bravo!
Peter Venero
September 28th, 2005 at 11:48 pm
Mazel Tov! Break their legs….er, a leg.
September 29th, 2005 at 12:51 am
Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.
What is it they say; to settle nerves imagine your audience naked? Have fun
September 29th, 2005 at 12:58 am
Ah, stop yer self-doubtin’ nonsense Molly (’cos you deserve the rep points you’ve gained) and go grab yerself a Carlton Cold - John and Maxine will point you in the right direction:-)
September 29th, 2005 at 1:18 am
Best of luck, Molly. It’s always best to have at least 4 pints of beer before you go on, I’ve heard.
September 29th, 2005 at 4:26 am
Congratulations Molly, WE05 has been awsome so far, and I think you did a great job!
Looking forward to your presentation tomorrow morning.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:15 am
Congratulations Molly, I too was there and the keynote was delivered awfully well
The passion that you have comes out in your delivery of the presentation.
September 29th, 2005 at 5:57 am
Congratulations on making it as far as you have. Can’t wait to catch one of your speeches someday.
September 29th, 2005 at 8:16 am
Doubting yourself is good because it keeps you level-headed. With that in mind, who else deserves the honor? Nobody. There ya go. Rock the house.
September 29th, 2005 at 11:43 am
Good luck Molly. I’m with Scrivs on this, doubting oneself does keep you level-headed, but it also shows you’re only human.
While your in Sydney, can you pick me up a baby roo?
September 29th, 2005 at 1:33 pm
Best of luck with the Keynote Molly - blow them away!
And remember: all those people you’re talking to are there because they wanted to listen to what you have to say, respect you, and some think you’re awesome! (Of course…you already knew this…I’m just saying it!)
September 29th, 2005 at 3:16 pm
I didn’t quite manage to raise a glass in your honour but I did take a few swigs out of a bottle of Benedictine that I found stashed in the cwtch (interesting stuff, reminded me of Drambuie but sweeter).
September 29th, 2005 at 4:30 pm
About yesterday…
Amazing how blogs can change your perception. Re: my comments on the keynote yesterday - I read this today and my perception has changed. Just goes to show… WE05…
September 29th, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Cheers Molly. I just listened to your keynote and it was glorious. Congratulations! Your expression of confusion over your own role and your sharing of thoughts on silos of knowledge was inspiring and mirrored exactly what I often feel as a jack of all trades and master of none. Inspiring too in that my thoughts and altruistic feeling for the web and my work in it also have a place, and I should complete some of them in articles, which after hearing you speak, I think just might.
September 29th, 2005 at 11:06 pm
Nicely written, nicely said, nicely done.
Cheers, Molly!
P.S. The Shakespeare device you and Darren Barefoot used at the Blog Business Summit in San Francisco was really clever and very memorable. I forgot to mention that…
September 30th, 2005 at 5:12 am
Congrats Molly on a job well done. I just listened to the PodCast of it. Enjoyed the one in London too. What’s next a keynote together with Steve Jobs? :-p
September 30th, 2005 at 6:30 am
Hey Molly, cheers! (seriously - it might be a premix bourbon in my hotel room, but i really did toast you
)
Your doubts were unfounded - it was a great keynote. People back at work will be thrilled to hear wikis cited as a killer app in the first session of WE05 (we’ve been trying to replace pretty much everything with a wiki, doing a pretty good job too).
It’s also a long time since anyone has so convincingly reminded an audience that the net can and does empower people to change the world. You made my day one quotable quotes twice!
September 30th, 2005 at 8:10 am
Molly, listening to the keynote speech now for WE05. Fantastic. You can really hear the enthusiasm in your voice for New Media technologies and the state of the web in general.
Looking forward to your appearance at SXSW next year.
September 30th, 2005 at 8:21 am
Congratulations, Molly. Wish I could have been there to hear your first keynote. I’m confident it won’t be your last.
You’ve worked so long and hard to get where you are, you must realize that you deserve this, and it’s probably overdue. Good luck with this.
::hugs::
September 30th, 2005 at 11:48 am
Congratulations Molly and I second Keith’s words.
I can think of no one in our field who has a greater command of the english language or more passion for their work. Not only have you achieved your mother’s dream, but our grandmother’s and our daughters.
Thank you to the folks in Australia who made this possible and thank you Molly for continuing to forge ahead while being your wonderful authentic self.
More hugs,
September 30th, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Heard the keynote speech. Loved it. It was cool listening to your enthusiasm which rings bells of good holy web development freedom. Wow. I can’t believe I just said that.
September 30th, 2005 at 2:27 pm
Molly, you did need to worry you did well with both the keynote and your second day presentation.
I preferred the second presentation, you seemed more relaxed (and now I know why).
Are you trying to lose the party girl reputation? You where one of the few presenters who did not make it to Kings Cross after/during the closing party. I will assume better offer or you ran out of nervous energy, which is what should happen to me today.
September 30th, 2005 at 6:27 pm
Hey! You just made me cry.
I am *so* on the same page with all this.
Your presentation was a genuine “keynote” Molly, and the theme you created was wonderfully apposite.
I’ll have to admit I did spend a lot of it fretting about “speakers running over time”
, but sitting here now, on Saturday morning, having heard face to face, and now read, so much positive feedback about everything……….well, let’s just say it’s another one of those great lessons in focussing on the postives and enjoying the moment.
Congratulations to you. As we say downunder: “Done good, played hard”.
September 30th, 2005 at 8:26 pm
I thought that downunder they said “Why are the All Blacks so damn good?”
I’ve got the podcasts, anybody have handycam video?
October 1st, 2005 at 5:09 am
Molly, a great keynote, great to spend time with you over the last few days, an absolute honour to meet you and the other speakers…roll on we06.
October 1st, 2005 at 5:20 am
Hey, Molly. Just finished listening to the Podcast of your keynote, and I gotta say… wonderful, superb, amazing job! You definitely deserved this and I don’t doubt that it will be the first of many more to come. I’ve yet to have the honor of seeing you present in person, but I saw (and heard, of course) the video of your and Ethan’s “Marriage of Presentation and Structure” talk from WDW, and I’ve been following your blog for several years now. In whatever medium you use to express yourself, your eloquence, your experience, and your passion all come through loud and clear.
Not to mention your sense of humor.
I cracked up right along with the “live audience” at the part about IE, and how “while there will be imperfections…” 
Whether that was unintentional or not, I loved it. (Firefox user here, but any improvement whatsoever to IE’s standards compliance will be a great achievement from you - and the rest of the WaSP - for all of us.)
Anyway, once again, excellent keynote; keep up the fabulousness.
If there were ever a “MollyCon,” I’d be the first in line. … Yikes, and just as I say that, I see that you’ll be coming here to my campus (University of Hawai`i at Manoa) in November for WOW’s WDPM Conference. … $495? Oy. 
Should be able to get away from my classes if I twist my professors right, but the price is a bit steep for this student. Well, maybe if I’m lucky, I can convince 5 friends into “remembering” that they owe me $100 each. … I’d try crawling past conference security through the library’s vent shafts, but the way they keep that place “air conditioned,” I’d be an icecube by noon. Bring a jacket! 
Aloha!
October 1st, 2005 at 5:20 am
There isn’t much I can add here… all I can really do is echo everyone else: you rocked the house with that keynote, Molly. I’ve just listened to the podcast, and felt just as moved and inspired as when you delivered it on Thursday.
October 1st, 2005 at 8:12 am
<w00t>i listened to the podcasts (next best thing to being there). it’s almost impossible to concentrate on anything else now. great job!</w00t>
October 1st, 2005 at 1:37 pm
Your keynote was outstanding! As a reader of your books and a fan of your talent, I was so looking forward to listening and you did not disappoint. Self-doubt is sometimes the driver that makes us excellent. The challenge is finding a way to convert that doubt to self-confidence. I hope that you feel so good about what you said and how you said it that your confidence is stronger and higher as a result.
Thanks for your contribution to those of us who are not at the forefront of web development but are certainly in the trenches.
October 1st, 2005 at 5:23 pm
Thank you Molly!
Having the chance to share some laughs with you over the two days was an unexpected highlight and an absolute pleasure.
“We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy!!!” ;P
October 2nd, 2005 at 1:58 am
Presenting a keynote is a major milestone and when you’re experiencing moments of self doubt it can be difficult to remember all the hard work, passion and effort that it has taken to get where you are.
Your Key note and presentation were motivational and inspiring; maxines tears were matched by my goose bumps…
One of the greatest things I got from the conference was a real sense of community, of ‘us’, and a lot of that credit goes to you and your human, heart warming and honest presentation.
x lisa
October 2nd, 2005 at 12:20 pm
The ‘we’ in web
Yesterday saw the inaugural meeting of a yet to be titled Midlands based web community (similar to others such as the BritPack, HappyClog, NEWD etc…). Whilst the turnout was quite small, it felt like a good meeting to help…
October 2nd, 2005 at 12:24 pm
[…] 217;t push that metaphor UPDATE: I guess the other side of the equation can happen too: molly.com » Moments of Doubt and Glory tags: celebrities, doug bowman, douglas […]
October 2nd, 2005 at 2:08 pm
Molly,
I came from little New Zealand to be at we05. You are an inspiration, and it’s especially great to see a female doing so well in a generally male dominated field.
Keep up your hard work!
October 3rd, 2005 at 6:26 am
Shut up and enjoy the respect you so RIGHTLY deserve
.
You’ve been a pioneer and a catalyst in this industry both standards evangelist and as a woman doing it.
While it’s okay to be nervous about doing it, it is *NOT OKAY* for you to question it. I won’t allow it and that’s that. (*folding my arms and saying ‘hmph’*)
October 3rd, 2005 at 2:51 pm
Commenting
Thanks to those of you that posted comments on the Web Essentials stuff. My ISP has some very tight controls to prevent comment spam, and I’ve been made aware of at least one comment not coming through - so thanks…
October 4th, 2005 at 12:42 am
I’m WAY late on this but I wanted to added a few cents.
Molly, you have a skill that very, very few people have: the ability to write about, speak about, and explain very complicated subjects in a way that those of use who need a smidgen of help can understand.
I mean, you obviously know your stuff, but the fact that you can break it down into easily digested bits is a very rare skill indeed. It’s something that I wish I could do better and I really look up–way up–to you.
Learning the technology is one thing, being able to teach it is quite another. You’re The Shit Molly and don’t let anyone tell you different.
October 4th, 2005 at 1:00 am
From what I have seen in such a brief time frame, I need to agree
Very inspiring place you have here.
Mike
October 4th, 2005 at 5:42 am
Nice bit on human psychology. Now that you’ve conquered the conference circuit, will this be your new career path?
December 8th, 2005 at 1:48 pm
Congratulations, Molly. Wish I could have been there to hear your first keynote. I’m confident it won’t be your last.
December 22nd, 2005 at 5:03 pm
Very interested theme, with attention I will read following registration fees.
February 22nd, 2006 at 12:53 am
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August 15th, 2007 at 10:55 am
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August 30th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Congratulations Molly!
January 12th, 2008 at 11:25 am
thanks mooly
January 21st, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Thanx for your works.I hope you well be best
byeeeee…. thnaxxx
January 21st, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Thanx for your works.I hope you well be best
….by…..
January 29th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
thanx
February 13th, 2008 at 9:15 am
CONGRATULATIONS!
March 16th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Successful website
March 16th, 2008 at 6:01 am
thanx a lot
March 30th, 2008 at 11:13 am
http://www.google.com.tr/search?q=site:molly.com&hl=tr&safe=active&rlz=1T4GGLJ_trTR268TR268&start=50&sa=N
April 7th, 2008 at 2:54 am
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April 8th, 2008 at 6:59 am
but, i think it is another thing which you have
April 8th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
i like it
April 8th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
interesting, thanks
April 9th, 2008 at 7:10 am
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April 9th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
how can i find everything about css?
April 10th, 2008 at 5:53 am
what do you want to learn about css? we can help easily
April 11th, 2008 at 9:11 am
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April 21st, 2008 at 3:02 pm
it is good t see u
April 21st, 2008 at 7:10 pm
thats the matter i want to learn
April 21st, 2008 at 11:19 pm
ok,thanks
April 24th, 2008 at 6:44 am
hi, umit. how is going on