molly.com
Saturday 28 May 2005
Mail Not for You
SURELY IT’S HAPPENED TO YOU. You know, the voice or email that’s not for you. I don’t mean spam, I mean actual things people say on your VM or email to you that are meant for another human completely.
I went back to bed after working most of the night, woke up all blurry and bleah and thought, as I often do “must have a coffee.” So I shuffle off in my old, worn comfy pink robe and fuzzy slippers (sorry if I’m ruining anyone’s fantasies of what I really wear to bed) and pass the telephone, where the message light is, not surprisingly, winking at me.
I shuffle on over and pick it up, only to find that the extremely prestigious wife of a famous local real estate mogul has left a long and very personal voice mail on my voice messaging. As I’m listening, it dawns on my slowly emerging consciousness that the intimate details of this woman’s life and issues are meant for . . .
Betty!
Whoever Betty is. So, I did the nice thing and stopped listening, but for about a half minute or so there, I got quite an earful of torrid love and sex gossip that had absolutely nothing to do with me.
Of course, similar things have happened in email as well. I’m sure they’ve happened to you, too. How about sharing your strange voice and emails in order to entertain those of us working away here on what is a U.S. holiday weekend.
Filed under: humor
Posted by: Molly | 10:15 | Comments (30)
Got this in my email not long ago, ironically addressed to Matthew, which noone calls me that except my parents:
The first thing I do when I get married is ditching my computer.
“So, I did the nice thing and stopped listening”
This type of behavior is inacceptable. At least provide the message to us in mp3, otherwise you’re just a tease!
I apparently sound exactly like my mother on the phone and it causes quite a bit of confusion among anyone who calls. One time I answered the phone and it was one of my mothers friends calling, she instantly started rambling about intimate details of a date she had the prior night, she went on for a few minutes before I could finally get a word in and say “I think you want my Mum”.
Hey – it’s a national holiday over here in the UK too (not working though!)
Y’know what: I can’t think of any such bizarre occurances that have happened to me via e-mail….(probably cos I don’t get all that many mails! #Laughs#)
Seperate note: Did you know one of your RSS feeds stopped working a few days ago? I’ve had to delete the feed from Firefox and add it again just now! (It works now, but I just thought you should know that the feed had dropped-out…who else might have been effected?)
When we took over the domain http://www.cms.nl/ I started receiving a lot of e-mail addressed to people @cms.nl — even though there hadn’t been a site there in many, many years. Worse is that these people didn’t even work at the company from whom we purchased the domain.
Best part, however, is that one of those mails was about a backpay. Hehehe. I actually responded to them explaining that whoever they were mailing was not reading this e-mail anymore.
I have received several voice mails on my cell phone from a man who was trying to get back together with his ex-wife. The longest message was 8 minutes!
Actually (Jordan Moore’s post reminded me!)…I did get this crazy voice mail recording on my cell phone once. It was from an old-aged couple calling their son…and it was a classic!
The lady started to leave the message, and it was actually quite sweet, then about half way through she forgets something she wanted to say and calls across the room to her husband to ask him what it was….what follows is over 10 minutes of a discussion between the two of them….from the OTHER side of the room as she also forgot to hang-up first!!
It was obviously a wrong number, and it was a gem of a message.
(Okay – not an e-mail, but still good!)
Matt Burris – format before you ditch! #Laughs#
Dearest Mollykins,
One word: transcript.
Hearts and bunnies,
- Ethan
People have this strange habbit of leaving rather long messages in some language that I don’t speak on my voice mail. I remember two particular long ones in Papiamento, and what I think was Russian.
Maybe it’s a hint that I should learn said languages … but I doubt that.
I have an old website which has a personality/temperament test, and people often hit “reply” when they want to “forward” their results to someone else. Normally happens once or twice a month. Needless to say it’s a specific email where people are willing to talk about themselves, and I often get too much information…. but it’s facinating anyway.
My cell number is listed in Google Local as being the number for a lawn & garden store. Needless to say, 90% of my calls are people looking for lawnmowers and deck chairs.
On top of that, I get text messages from people in locations as far apart as North Carolina and Iraq. The messages are usually mid-way through conversations, too. Anyone else have this happen a lot?
I’d change my number, but then, I enjoy the surprises!
We used to get fascinating mail at the CWRU Web server. A lot of it was meant for American Airlines, because for a while we had a page about them (in conjunction with the Cleveland airport) and they didn’t have a site.
My boss at CWRU used to get, every now and again, mail not unlike the one Matt Burris got. His e-mail address was his last name at cwru.edu, and his last name is a common first name. So he’d get mail meant for guys at CWRU with that first name. Many of them contained… what we’ll call intimate offers.
Me personally, though, I haven’t gotten anything as interesting as you did.
Oh, and Matt B.– did you write back to tell her she’d mailed the wrong person? Or, better still, to mess with her head?
About 2 months ago, I recevied the strangest phone calls over a month. I am in New Zealand, and I kept getting people from the UK calling, asking to speak to Jill, or Betty, or Mum.. or whatnot.
After about 20 of these calls from different people, I learned from one of them that they were trying to call people who lived in the same country and some area as them!
These poor people got very annoyed at a bunch of sleep deprived kiwis telling them to bugger off.
Turned out it was a issue with the uk telecom.. but still pretty damn dunny.
hi molly,
we both have an interesting,rare name,
just want to say hello and respect about your work
greetings from austria
gerd
The one thing I find strange is when someone leaves you a message that was meant for someone
else on an answering machine that you recorded. Can’t these people see that they dialed the wrong number?
If I intend to call my wife and leave her a message and get some guys voice saying to leave a message for Joe, I hang up.
Just amazes me how that’s done in the first place..
I started getting emails written in French, a lot of them, and I had no idea why. A little research led me to find that a rather famous Canadian comic named Mike Ward had just posted a site at .ca instead of .com and I was getting (and still get) a lot of his traffic. Northern Mike and I have exchanged emails and I added a few lines in French to my homepage to to redirect those misquided Canadians.
With a common name like mine, there have been many other mistaken identities, none I’m afraid with torrid love and sex gossip…well there might have been, but I can’t speak French
0 for 2. First, my phone number was 1 numeral off from a cab company. Middle of the night calls from drunks looking for rides from bars, etc. One night I got so irritated that the person was leaving me a message on my answering machine, I actually picked up, and told them I’d be there in 20 minutes. My next number was 1 numeral off from a nursing home. Lots of messages from ‘lil ‘ol ladies trying to reach “Agnes” and “Betty”. I guess everyone’s phone number is close to something……
ok
People have this strange habbit of leaving rather long messages in some language that I don’t speak on my voice mail. I remember two particular long ones in Papiamento, and what I think was Russian.
Maybe it’s a hint that I should learn said languages … but I doubt that.
Hey – it’s a national holiday over here in the UK too (not working though!)
I have received several voice mails on my cell phone from a man who was trying to get back together with his ex-wife. The longest message was 8 minutes!
With a common name like mine, there have been many other mistaken identities, none I’m afraid with torrid love and sex gossip…well there might have been, but I can’t speak French
Dearest Mollykins,
One word: transcript.
Hearts and bunnies,
Two incidents:
About three years ago, I received a text asking if I was going to rehearsals that evening. As I had no theatrical events planned for any time in the future, I immediately realised I had received said text in error. However, being at least 80% evil (according to an internet survey my friends did for me) I could not resist replying “No, not tonight, but break a leg” (Note the theatrical good luck message there)
I expected to hear no more, but received a text from the same number a few days later. This goes on for six months. I receive a text, and reply with a totally bogus message.
Then, one night, my phone rings while I’m at work.
“Who ARE you?, says a rather posh-sounding lady
“I’m John .. and you would be?”
“Why have you been texting me?”
“mmm … because you’ve been texting me and it would be rude not to reply”
With that, said lady burst out laughing and we ended up chatting for twenty minutes. She’d only discovered something amiss when she was sat next to the friend she thought she was texting and discovered she’d got the wrong number down.
Anyway, her name was Janette, she was a teacher living some 150 miles from me, and she enjoyed her amateur dramatics. We talked so long, in fact, that we decided to swap email addresses.
And we corresponded regularly for another six months, and then decided we really should meet. The opportunity arose a few weeks later when I had a course near where she lived, and we arranged to meet up.
And we got on so well that we ended up booking a hotel room and becoming lovers and have been conducting a clandestine affair for almost two years now.
All from a text.
The second incident was purew wickedness on my part. Another text message, at 3.30am one morning. “It’s Lorna. Are you with Rob? Where is he? He’s not home yet and not answering his phone”
I reply “OMG. We got split up about two hours ago. He was going back to a flat with two girls he seemed to know”
Quick as a flash, a text came back “F*cking b*stard. I bet he’s shagging them. Well, he’s f*cking for it when he gets in”
I decided that a follow-up text at that time, although highly tempting, would perhaps not be the most appropriate thing to do.
Love your beatiful
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