molly.com
Monday 28 March 2005
Paul Hester RIP
PAUL HESTER HAS TAKEN HIS LIFE. Only 46 years old, the Crowded House drummer has hung himself from a tree in a park. With two children and a seemingly happy life, clinical depression appears to be the cause.
I’m a long time fan of Crowded House and the Finn Brothers, this loss is a hard one.
Rest in Peace, Paul. And thank you for the music.
Filed under: music
Posted by: Molly | 17:59 | Comments (50)
Every suicide gives us a jolt, a shock, that makes us wonder about those last awful days and hours and what might have been. Some entertain savior fantasies while others wonder about last words, last thoughts, etc. I’ve always thought it was worse, somehow, whenever an artist does it. It tore me up when Hunter Thompson shot himself, last month. When you experience a writer or a musician’s art, it happens between your own ears, in your own head. Even if you have never met the person, they have still spent time inside your head, sometimes hours and hours.
It’s tough. You feel cheated. You feel unappreciated. You feel angry. You feel sad. You feel anxious. As with all Good Art, you feel.
It’s hard to resolve a lot of that in ways that make sense, I think. Harder than any other civilian save for Family. You look at video clips and see them smiling and seemingly enjoying themselves and it’s hard to balance that with their passing.
I met Paul many years ago at the first Muttonbirds gig supporting Crowded House – Paul and Nick kept me entertained for 2 hours backstage as they got drunker and funnnier, i literally wet myself. RIP buddy, it must’ve been hard.
i can only say if u were paul’s real friends & had contacted him regularly he’d still b alive 2 day
kia ora
having been an american listener of much of the frenz combinations for the past 20 years, paul’s passing has been as painful & distressing for me as losing a family member or friend.
crowded house music & lyrics (especially) have become deeply ingrained parts of my head and heart and soul.
i was around for the beatle brilliance of the 60s, and crowded house superceded that brilliance in terms of authentic musical genius.
but as sad as this has been for me as a music fan—i am even more saddened for paul and his surviving loved ones in the human sense—to think someone becomes that emotionally isolated is heartbreaking.
this is devastating. God bless his family & friends & fans.
Its a shame he died.. its quite unfair to blame his friends for the loss. we are all responsible for ourselves. I hope for God’s love to cover his family in this time of grief and sorrow.
I first met Paul Hester at my friend Glenda’s daughters 1st birthday party, he was Glenda’s ex boyfriend.I was 14 years old and on day leave from the Girls home where Glenda worked as my art teacher. At the time Paul was with Neil Finn. It was a strange time as Glenda my friend had a few famous people in her family. Her Mothers second husband’s daughter was married to Leagh Matthews, and Glenda’s sister was married to Mark Little (Who was in neighbours as Joe Mangle). They were all there and I had a great time talking to them all. I’ll never forget Paul, after Glenda told him about me…she told me he wrote the song sister maddly about me, as I was into studying the supernatural at the time. He had a nice soft voice and seemed a happy man. I feel very saddened by the news of his suicide. He used to try and make people laugh with his funny antics durring his career with Crowded House. I write from my heart from one misunderstood soul to another, its a shame to have lost you, so young and fresh, we can only retain what you gave in our memories and feel lucky to have known and experienced one so beautiful as you.
Thanks to Joe for not blaming his friends. Its not always possible to stay in touch with someone. You can stay in touch and still not know whats in their minds. All we can do is love each other stay on good terms and life goes on….then bam!!! you suddenly hear bout what happened and it breaks your heart. RIP Paul Hester.
I’m sorry
Very funny, in a mean and twisted way.Maybe he’s not sorry at all! For all the pain he has caused, he should be.
In response to sharon A, Paul did not write Sister Madly, it was Neil. Sorry to burst your bubble mate, but I have doubts that anyone would be inspired enough to write an entire song for someone they only met at a childrens party…
This is a truly terrible tragedy. I just heard this news about a month ago or less. I was stunned and shocked and in deep thought about it for a couple of days. As a drummer myself and a huge fan of Split Enz and Crowded House, I took it a bit personally.I felt the same way when I heard about Carlos Vega (drummer James Taylor, GRP artist etc.) a few years ago. This is a terribly permanent result of a temporary problem, although I’m sure it may have seemed insurmountable at the time. What really bothered me too was how Paul had denied faith in God and did not trust in Jesus from what he has publically stated. Where was his heart and did he have that faith? God only knows. I pray…………..
I only heard recently and was deeply saddened. I met him once after a gig in Dublin and he was a genuinely funny guy. It’s so sad to think that he succumbed to the deep darkness within. No one is to blame, not Paul himself,nor his friends. Smile when you think of him.
So terribly sad, Crowded House got me through some particularly unpleasant times in the early 90′s. R.I.P that man…….
its been annoying me since i read it but was 2 upset at the time to say anything… why would you bother lying about knowing paul hester sharon a??? Paul never even wrote the song sister madly! neil and tim did.. anyway… just had to say something finaly i know you are probaly long gone now… R.I.P Paul you still make me smile
oh anna i just read your response GOOD ONE!!!!
i read that ages ago(from sharon)and closed the window and have been feeling angry about it since and i have only just come across this site again!some weird people in this world hey! anyway keep up the good work 
Wow, I’m glad I found this. I have such amazing memories of seeing Crowded House here in Los Angeles and In Santa Barbara CA. In the early 90′s.
Paul was the “fit to be tied” court jester. He also seemed to play the drums on the emotional and heroic high parts of songs like “When You Come” and “Six Months in a leaky boat” to a level that took us all to the stratosphere.
As I write this I’m listening to a live in Chicago CD that I have, can’t really say where I got it, but it suffices to say that
it is a treasure.
How can you go wrong with the Finns, and add in Paul and Nick? It was a high point in my life to see
CH and Paul in person, acting quite a fool, and a very sad moment to hear about his death.
So here I am for some reason, all these months later sitting down and listining again to the music, and all the stage banter between songs, and I have to say that I cried maybe because of the constant emotion of living in a country at war and seeing the faces of nineteen year olds dying for a unjust war, but thinking about Paul seemed to connect.
He seemed eternally young.
I know Paul felt things very deeply, he had a kind face and a quick wit. These types of things seem in short supply these days.
I guess I did cry thinking of this crazy musician guy, cause I’m a 40 year old crazy musician guy too, and I kinda get something about that.
Paul thanks for the inspiration and really good music.
And for those who want to build a wall between us (brothers/sisters), you know “they won’t win.”
Interestingly enough, I first found out about Paul Hester through my 2 year old’s infatuation with the Wiggles. Of course at the time I only knew him as Paul the Cook. I was curious why he didn’t appear on later Wiggles CD’s and shows but didn’t think much of it until I came across his name in a news article about his death. That made me a little curious so I did a google search and found out he was also the drummer of Crowded House. Crowded House was a band I liked, but never followed closely. It is sad about his death and just seems like one of those things that could have been prevented. He definitely gave joy to many around him on many different levels.
I just heard that Paul Hester had taken his own life. God bless that man. RIP. You are by your maker’s side I know.
Only found out about Paul Hesters death last week, felt i’d lost something but i woudnt know what it is.
Ive listened to Crowded House and awful lot since then, he seemed an incredibly iconic man as are the other 2 guys of course, im not an emotional person really but i was genuinly sad the day i found out.
Its a shame about the false and untrue comments on here, disrespectful and unappropriate.
I can’t believe how long it has taken for this news to reach me and so many other fans of this man. Crowded House represents a great time and place for many peoples lives. I will always think of the “Something So Strong” video when I think of Paul.
hello people who will come across this, im Lily im only 13, when i hear about Paul Hesters death it apsolutly shatterd me, i could not believe it. I never new him in person but always wished to meet him oneday. Crowded house just isnt the same without him. Well at least his free now. RIP paul, i love you.
Crowded House is one of the only bands from my youth
that I feel I will never outgrow. Their lyrics hold
as much relevance to me now as they did in 1988 when
I was in high school. I thank Paul for the happiness
he’s given me for the past 19 years. And when I saw
him in the Wiggles “Fruit Salad” video with my first
child, I couldn’t believe it! I will share his music
with my 3 children and my husband for a long time.
So sad to hear he’s left this earth.
It is always sad and unjust when our heroes die before we do. I remember when John Lennon died, thinking how horribly unfair that I wouldn’t have the joy of watching the man grow old as I did.
Paul Hester brought a lot of happiness into my life from the time I got out of the Army until the time I finished college. I even was fortunate enough to see crowded house live in the early 1990s.
It’s a shame he is gone. He made some great music. I wish I could have met him one day and shook his hand and thanked him for all the good things he brought into people’s lives.
We have him on a Wiggles video that my son watches. Perhaps he would have been one of those entertainers who entertained multiple generations.
Of course, we’ll never know. I didn’t get to say it when you were alive, but Paul, thank you for all the joy you brought to us. I only wish we could have done the same for you.
Re:Paul Hester RIP Reply to this message
another late comment. hey, when the black dog suddenly starts to take over you and you are well known either in a professional status or even as a celebrity, the best way to cope is to act completely normal so others dont realise anything is wrong. Those with depression are absolutely great at hiding it sometimes and just battle through their own torment to appease others but deep down, hate themselves and their situation.i am an ambo and know the crew tasked to hessies case in elsternwick, melbourne. it was not pleasant for all concerned and yes, we get affected too. Still, i have a set of hessies drum sticks signed with his trademark LERV PAUL, from the enz with a bang tour to remember him by anfd the hillarious chat we had after the gig .what also hit me hard waas the fact that where hessie is burried up at blackwood cemetary, there is little to remind us all of him. a bare patch of dirt, a small eifell tower statue from a fan and a crude hand made cross with rest in peace hessie texta coloured on it. Not a fine send off for such a talented and respected guy. Please remember, the black dog hits at any time and when it does, the feelings one gets can over power any other rational thoughts and one justs wants a final escape. I feel this might have been the case with hessie and i hope his fans who may also suffer from depression seek help. discretion is a must with depressive people. sometimes even your closest friends wont know whats going on. the cover up mechanism works wonders but internal termoil is worse – you just dont show it personally. may hessie rest in peace .get to know the feeling of liberation and release. dont dream its over…..a fellow black dog sufferer and crowdie fan.
Firstly, it’s not Paul’s friend’s fault that he died. There’s no one to blame, so just chill out. Also, Neil Finn wrote Sister Madly.
More importantly:
Love you Paul, I’m so sorry you couldn’t see another way out of your depression. I’ll always miss you, even though we never met.
I have always adored both crowded house and split enz, im 15 and i play drums, ive always aspired to play like Paul, he was a highly skilled drummer.
I cant presume he was a nice guy, but he was an amazing drummer,
i will be listening to him long after the media spotlight has left him…
RIP Paul, you were a true legend xox
Having moved to Elwood recently, I happened to take “Paul Hester Walk” to the nearest bus stop. It’s in a very pretty and tranquil spot. R I P Paul. I hope you have found the peace you were looking for.
WOW! I LOVED HIM as The Cook on the Wiggles, he is what got me hooked to let my son continue to watch more & more Wiggles. Paul- The Cook- Fruit Salad! OH,…I am so sorry to hear he took his life.
I grew up listening to Crowed House also
but I’m going to miss you most AS: The Cook.
darn-it darn-it.
I mean; AS THE CHEF !!!!
yummy — yummy
Wow. Just found out tonight. Poor guy, to feel like there was no other option….I can relate to those feelings sometimes (though not to that extreme). I fell in love with CH instantly and saw them quite a few times in concert. I even went down to NBC in the summer of….1988 I think, when they were on David Letterman and waited in the lobby so I could meet them. I’m waiting and waiting, talking to the security guard. Some people walk by me, I’m not noticing them, then I see the elevator doors closing and I see Paul’s face. I’m like, “Oh sh*t!”, praying that wouldn’t be my only opportunity to meet them. It wasn’t…I saw them when they came down after the show. They all took pictures for me and with me, gave me autographs, and both Nick and Paul even stayed on after Neil left. Paul always came across as the clown, but I guess it’s true….laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.
Goodbye Paul. You’ve touched my life and I’ll miss you, but your music lives on.
See Ya Round
Just watching an old DVD of Crowded House. Hard to believe that such a seemingly happy and wonderful man can hide such despair and sadness. Had many a walk in Elsternwick Park wih my beautiful puppy and always get a pang when i think of you. Was fortunate to see you guest perform with the Finns in St Kilda a couple of years back and your fans still miss you mate. RIP.
Joel
Maybe the girl wasnt lying at all. Maybe she got told by her friend that he wrote it for her and just maybe it made her feel good – why burst her bubble at all just for the sake of knowing better. As for Kia Ora you obviously have absolutely no experience with suicide and life in general otherwise you wouldn’t make such ignorant coments – I will give you a little lessen in life girl – If you don’t know what you are saying, you are better off keeping your opinions to yourself until the years wisen you up a little or you could find yourself hurting peoples feelings deeply.
My deepest sympathy to Pauls Family and friends. So sorry for you sad loss.
RIP Paul Hester
SJ
Paul Hester…an amazing person and supreme musician.
Bipolar…a tragic illness.
Bless you Paul, and your girls.
RIP
I just found out the sad news yesterday a year or so later,I am In shock I still cannot take It In.I am a huge fan of Split Enz and Crowded House,my cousins in Austalia used to keep me updated with all their music.
I saw Crowded House many times in concert,Paul was the life and soul of the concerts.I too struggle with depression and now see a therapist weekly.Taking your own life is no easy decision.Paul must have beeb In torment when he did it.
I hope you are up in heaven Paul looking after Michael(Hutchence).I will miss you both always.
“Somewhere,deep Inside,something’s got a hold on you,and I know Im right for the first time In my life,that’s why I tell you,you better be home soon”
I will remember you always Paul,with a song or two In my heart.
I did know about the death of Paul till I viewed the Crowded House DVD “Farewell to the World” documentary CD2 released last year 2006.
He was a great drummer, a solid one. Poor Paul that he has to take his own life. May he rest in peace and my best wishes for the year 2007 for his 2 daughters.
Silleke
Hard to put feelings into words sometimes and this one is right up there with the toughest. Such a great entertainer and appears to be the kind of fella you would love to sink a pot with. Can’t claim to know what he was going thru and I am sure no-one else can either. Very personal thing, suicide. Shocked, saddened, very sorry for his family, friends and past band members. As a fan of the songs that he played a part in creating I feel like I/we owed him a world of gratitude that may or may not have effected him and helped him defeat the demons within that got the better of him. Been close myself to ending it but have drawn strength from music such as the crowded house boys to keep my chin up. Thanks for the beats that made the tracks what they were and still are, priceless.
I have known about Paul’s passing for quite some time now but I too had the opportunity to watch “Farewell To The World” just yesterday and found it deeply moving. As the show grew closer and closer to the encores you can see that Paul became increasingly emotional and so did I. By the end I was in tears over the loss of such an outstanding drummer and such a vital human being. He most certainly wore his heart on his sleeve and and experienced life to the fullest emotionally on both ends of the spectrum. Better to feel things fully and cut out early than to be totally sedate and have nothing to show for your time here.
One thing is for certain…the world is an emptier place for his abscence.
as a response to the post above:
“if u were paul’s real friends & had contacted him regularly he’d still b alive 2 day”
If Paul was, in fact, a manic depressive, it is important to understand the reality that can go along with that. I’m manic depressive as well and make it a point to maintain a few friends that are in the same boat as it helps to not feel isolated.
It is alarming that approximately 20% of us (people with bipolar disorder) will die by suicide at some point over the course of our lifetime, and a significantly higher percentage will make at least one attempt.
If you have been touched by the suicide of a friend or family member, you know how hard it can be to see it coming. Sometimes, the person even acts happier before they do it (as though a weight has been lifted by them making the decision).
The condition also tends to breed creativity and passion in an individual and is often seen in highly artistic people, but sometimes during the lowest of lows, the pain associated with continuing on can seem unbearable.
Now that some time has passed since Paul’s death, I hope that we can just feel empathy and love for him and understand that he was in tremendous emotional pain and turmoil in taking this step. I realize that there is anger by some in terms of the impact this has had on his loved ones; however, it is important to understand that when one reaches the state of mind that he did that it is not too uncommon to honestly believe, even though it is not true, that “everyone would be better off if I were not around.”
Take care, everyone.
I have just found this site as I was looking up Paul and Crowded House. I already new about his passing, BUT…..to read a letter about his family etc. being to blame. What a crock. I had 2 freinds commit sucide 2 years ago (3 days apart) I had seen both of them just days before, there was no warning of things to come. my one buddy even sent me a letter that I got just days after he was gone. He actually seamed to be looking forward to dying. So to put blame on others is just plain cruel. I’d like to apoligise for someone elses lack of respect for Paul, his family and freinds.
R.I.P Paul you were a fine drummer
darn-it darn-it.
I mean; AS THE CHEF !!!!
yummy — yummy
I WATCHED THERE DVD THE OTHER NIGHT. I THOUGHT IT WAS SO SAD TO WATCH THAT A TALENTED MAN. IT SO SAD TO EAND THAT WAY.GOD BLESS HIS CHILDREN AND FAMILY AND THE GUYS IN THE BAND.
my daughter and i were saddened of the loss of you paul.we watched your dvd the other night .you were taken to young the world will be lost without you. hope your family and friends are ok.
Interestingly enough, I first found out about Paul Hester through my 2 year old’s infatuation with the Wiggles. Of course at the time I only knew him as Paul the Cook. I was curious why he didn’t appear on later Wiggles CD’s and shows but didn’t think much of it until I came across his name in a news article about his death. That made me a little curious so I did a google search and found out he was also the drummer of Crowded House. Crowded House was a band I liked, but never followed closely. It is sad about his death and just seems like one of those things that could have been prevented. He definitely gave joy to many around him on many different levels.
I have always adored both crowded house and split enz, im 15 and i play drums, ive always aspired to play like Paul, he was a highly skilled drummer.
I cant presume he was a nice guy, but he was an amazing drummer,i will be listening to him long after the media spotlight has left him… RIP Paul, you were a true legend xox
thanks for your sharing
thanks alot.. it is good t see u
i saw Crowded House in concert when they came through Phoenix last year, while touring for their Time On Earth cd. Neil, Nick, and Mark were in top form (even though Mark was sick, as Neil had mentioned) and i had noticed the new drummer. Neil talked about Paul for a little bit and about how he was dead. He didn’t say anything about how he died or about the situation, out of respect for his good friend. Just today finally i found out that he committed suicide. i can’t imagine the depths of his depression and anxiety that a seemingly happy man must have been in. i only hope and pray his family is taken care of. here’s a flower on your grave, Paul. thanks for the great music.
I just purchased and tonight watched Crowded House’s Farewell Concert out side the Sydney Opera House, The best live Concert I’ve seen by far. I’m ashamed I didnt even know one of the members of one of my favoutite bands had gone. The whole band looked like they had an absolute ball doing the concert, Paul fired everyone up and was at home on the stage. Mate what can I say, I just hope you are in a better place.
C J T
Hi there,
my name is Cheryl, and I used to go to high school with Paul and was a very good mate of his sister, Carolyn… we had horses together and used to keep them and ride them at a place just walking distance from their home called The Baron of Beef..We used to catch the bus from school (Monbulk High) and I would travel with Paul and Carolyn to their home at least 3 times a week…..
Paul was witty and funny and naughty and rude… he was the kid at the back of the bus…that had the rude paper with the nude girls in them…..and would read the dirty stories out loud… so everyone could hear…. God it seems just like yesterday…..I would dearly love to get in contact again with Carolyn….. Have tried but unsuccessfully….. Have lots of stories… but the thing is ….I LOVED Crowded House….. they’re music has been a part of my life and probably most Aussies for a very long time.
Regards Cheryl
A kiwi based in Florida, I started drumming in 1966, like Paul I treated the drum kit as something to have fun with. I was honoured to play with some top Oz and kiwi musos, now gone, Billy T, Paul Hewson and Tommy Adderley but chose to get into TV in the mid 70s. Its a tough life being a drummer, Spinal Tap went through a few! But I was glad to meet Paul when I was a TV producer and did Enz With A Bang concert and doco for my show SHAZAM! on TVNZ in 1983. He had so much personality, what a talent, Ringo, Stewart Copeland and Keith Moon rolled into one, with a natural gift for harmony. He and Neil were like brothers. When they formed The Mullanes briefly b4 Crowded House they sent me a thank you note for doing the 2 x 1 hour specials, it meant alot, met Neil briefly again at Concert For Linda at Royal Albert Hall while working with The Mambazos. The chemistry between the 3 House members was unique, hard to find a team like that! Great great guys! Paul lives on thru their music, The Dream Will Never Be Over!