molly.com
Tuesday 27 January 2004
tappity tap tap
I was just chatting with my friend and fellow WaSP the lovely ms. sniffles who told me that her left shift key isn’t working on her keyboard and that this has changed her whole way of typing.
Keyboards are curious bits of technology. Keyboards get dirty, they break, they stop working, they are cheaply made, they hurt us if not properly shaped. I think it’s time we begin talking about keyboards and the true depth of trauma they cause the entire keyboard-using populace of the world.
Of course, I’ve got most things ass-backward, so instead of my keyboard traumatizing me, I tend to traumatize my keyboard. The first oddity has something to do with me - either I’m too alkaline or too acidic or something - but I type the inked letters right off of my keyboards. So most of my keyboards are almost completely letter- and symbol- less.
Another quirk with my current keyboard on my primary computer: One day I was cleaning it, and in my fight against grime, I got a little aggressive (imagine that). The u and i keys popped right off! I had to dig in the snakepit beneath my desk to find them (that’s another topic for another day), but find them I did. I snapped those keys right back on, but in the wrong order. Because I touch type, I never noticed.
So my keyboard is mostly free of visual cues, and the few that remain don’t work properly. You can imagine what anyone else using my keyboard has to say about it.
What’s up with your keyboard?
Filed under: general
Posted by: site admin | 2:51 am |
January 27th, 2004 at 3:11 am
Maybe they ought to start making keyboards with stress balls specially for you, Molly
I think most people do type harder than they need to (keyboards these days are pretty sensitive). I’ve started to think that typing softer allows one to type faster - more energy efficient too. Hee.
January 27th, 2004 at 3:31 am
this is my keyboard at work: http://thraxil.org/images/anders_kbd.jpg
a coworker decided to play a prank on me and rearranged the keys one day while i was at lunch (look closely at the h.o.m.e.r.o.w [periods are to get around a “questionable content” filter that’s blocking the post] to see what they spell
. i touch type, so it actually took me a few days to notice that the keys were different. i thought it was funny so i left it that way. it has the nice side-effect of preventing other people from using my computer. i don’t need a screensaver with a password.
for a few months at home, i had a touchstream.
i no longer have it (it’s a long and sad story that i’ll spare you from), but it was heaven on earth once i got used to it. my wrists never had it better and it made me the coolest kid on the block. i just haven’t been able to justify the expense of getting another one. they are not cheap. but if i ever start having RSI issues, i’ll probably put down the cash for another.
January 27th, 2004 at 4:25 am
I’m looking after several houses at the moment while people are on holiday. I went around to one lady’s and she showed me her alarm system.
Before she could tell me the code for it I said “Does it have the numbers 3, 5, 7, 9 in it?”
She was amazed.
“How did you know that?”
“Because all the other buttons are pristine, and 3, 5, 7 and 9 have the numbers rubbed off.”
Silly lady
)
January 27th, 2004 at 5:23 am
My keyboards die a tragic death by coffee poisoning long before I wear them out.
January 27th, 2004 at 6:30 am
Same as you, Molly.
I learned how to type on a manual typewriter, and never quite… uh, got over it.
If I spend less than $20 on it, it’s dead inside six months. Guaranteed.
Current appliance is a stock IBM 104-key that a friend found at a secondhand store. One thing I lurve about stuff with an IBM nameplate is that it’s built to last, oh yes.
January 27th, 2004 at 8:05 am
I have a Belkin ergonomic keyboard that has a broken Enter key. Don’t know how that happened, because I’m (usually) quite gentle with my keyboards. As you probably realize, Enter is a very important key. Sure, I can use the Enter key on the keypad, but that destroys my touch typing rhythm.
January 28th, 2004 at 3:20 am
Ray, you probably want something like this.
(I’m horrified but at the same time sympathetic that it would occur to someone to do this.)
I distinctly recall a book owned by my mom’s second husband that explained how to turn a Plain Old Selectric into a Unix-ish line printer, and I suspect that it wasn’t the only one of its kind. Presumably one could use the information on such a gadget’s circuitry to turn it into an input device as well…
January 28th, 2004 at 4:05 am
My keyboard humor was bad. It is really amazing that they do take such a gentle touch to keep them operating. en by the way, Molly when i got out of my wheelchair and looked under the computer desk, something moved back there and snatched a cheeto that had rolled back there.it was making growling noises. I need to do more Qigong, listen to more Andean flute music, and drink more smoky lapsang souchong and wuyi tea.Maybe that is why i never have to trim my toenails after sitting at the computer desk. Hummmm. and ms.sniffles is indeed lovely lovely talent and website.
January 28th, 2004 at 4:16 am
I worked for about 6 months with my keyboard weirdly remapped, so many of the keys bore no relation to what was written on them or their usual location. Despite the fact that I switch from one machine to another all day and therefore was only working with the weird keyboard for part of the time which should have been confusing, it didn’t really bother me.
When I reinstalled the box I configured the keyboard correctly, but I kind of missed the weirdness …
January 28th, 2004 at 5:52 am
My current favorite (from a dozen on hand) is an old IBM with the large DIN. In the early 90’s I had a Northgate with (gasp) commas and periods in normal and shift positions, a la typewriter; a real jewel.
I don’t think anything will ever beat the Selectric II typewriter….
January 28th, 2004 at 7:09 am
The “U” and “I” popped off?
Freud said there are no accidents.
;-)
January 28th, 2004 at 7:33 am
Keyboard Anonymous user here also.
I may be on my 8th keyboard. One year, probably went through 3. Wear off the letters, sometimes. Spill coffee or beer on another. One keyboard, suffered from melted candle wax(story is *not* included, one can imagine).
I also started the front of my computer tower on fire while working one night[somewhere I have a picture of the aftermath]. It was quite a surprise while writing some tech report or marking up some website, to all of a sudden see flames and smoke shooting up out of my right peripheral vision. How…? I was lighting a candle or something with a Barbeque starter, set that down on the desk, and apparently the flame did not shut off when I let go of the trigger. Sticky shift key, or enter keys, yes a few in my time. And one other time, some child of mine got some sticky stuff all over the thing.
I have spent time taking apart keyboards and soaking the letters in cleaner, cleaning the contact surface[denatured alcohol, etc] and putting them back together. A lot of work. I meant to take a picture of all the keys floating inside a glass jar, but forgot. Though keyboards are relatively inexpensive, and I should keep a back up in the closet just in case of any future emergencies. Keyboards make great gift ideas for my family.
Recently, I have been a lot better, though it takes a while to get use to a new replacement, and I have found the ergonomic types are much harder to use.
January 28th, 2004 at 12:11 pm
Not being a “pro” all i know is that my keyboard has a definite taste for guatamalan and hazelnut. It keeps it clean and has stained the worn off keys enough that i can almost read the letters and nubers that are only figmanents. For die hards that need something to smash, you would think that IBM or Royal would have recycled old typewriters so that they could be used as keyboards, you could smash them, they would weigh at lest twenty pounds so you could throw them up against the wall and do some great damage, and use the body as a habachi to make great chicken and ribs while you worked. now if they would just make an industrial mouse that would take being pounded on and used to make “baskets” while you were taking a break.
January 28th, 2004 at 12:58 pm
Current HP keyboard has been going strong for over 4 years and nothing has worn off. A couple of keys don’t respond to ‘normal’ touch as well as they used to but the worst thing about it is the dirt under the keys, the keyboard (at least mine) is not exactly sanitary.
January 29th, 2004 at 2:14 am
My keyboard story is that I can play I heard it thru the grapevine on it. When I was a young Marine and they sent me to admin school (five days of learning to answer the phone, and type 3 form letters), they told us they would evaluate us not on our actual speed or words per minute but our improvement. Since I wanted to go to the next database training I had to do well.
So I did 23 words a minute on my intial test (at the time I typed about 60). During the week we would practice on the three letters and had ear phone and tape recorders. I brought in Marvin music and would practice to the music. I ended up typing 83 words a minute and can now play the song on the keyboard. he he and yes I did graduate first in admin school (181 students) and went on to database school.
Oh yeah: rank, name, and may I help you sir! Was how to answer the phone.
January 29th, 2004 at 2:25 am
I’m thinking of putting musical-note stickers on my letters on a temporary basis. There’s this sequencer program I want to use to make music.
January 29th, 2004 at 11:26 am
I can’t say I’ve ever wrecked a keyboard (cause you know, Apple is all about the quality), but I have done some sneaky keyboard pranks.
One of the simplest ones to do on a Mac (pre-OS X) was to go under the keyboard layouts control panel and switch US to German. Only the Y and Z would be affected. Takes people a while to figure that one out.
January 30th, 2004 at 6:35 am
My ‘f’ key sometimes decides that it doesn’t want to work. You’d be amazed how hard it is to type when you keep having to look to see if a letter has appeared.
January 31st, 2004 at 5:38 am
My keyboards are reasonably healthy if you ignore the grease stains, bits of crips and hair trapped between them *cough*
January 31st, 2004 at 10:45 am
Thank God, I am not the only one! I touch type, so never look at my keyboard, and am not easy on it. I tried taking it easy once after being told that I ’smashed’ down the keys, but I typed so slow, it was horrible. Never noticed that most of the letters had worn off, and yes, I’ve popped off a couple of letters from time to time. Both on the regulard board and the 10-key board. And yes, my shift-key has go on the blink. Never knew how much I depended on them and the space-bar until they don’t work properly. So now, I have my keyboard plus two replacements sitting in the closet. One that came with new computer(regular keyboard) and 1 ergonomic keyboard, which is like the one I am using. I tried going back to normal keyboard, thought my hands would cramp up!
January 31st, 2004 at 11:15 am
Wow, I didn’t notice all the letters on my keyboard faded off. Wonder how long that has been. That explains why my roommate doesn’t like typing on my computer…
February 4th, 2004 at 11:55 am
Hmmm, well my “C” was the first letter to go. Do you think I like typing “cunt” that much?
December 5th, 2005 at 8:44 am
LOL, had a similar problem when my friend from central europe shipped me a ‘cheap’ compaq keyboard over.
It didn’t take me long before I relealised that the ‘ key and the ; key were swapped over. Even now I continue to type such wonders as it does;t matter or it won;t go away….
Drives me nuts, but I’m sure I’ll soon be able to re-engineer my mind to type properly again in the future.
December 20th, 2005 at 6:32 pm
The “U” and “I” popped off?
Freud said there are no accidents.
;-)
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