molly.com
Friday 23 January 2004
want your virginity back?
I’m not particularly sure I do, but since the folks at The Society for the Recapture of Virginity claim I’ll have orgasms that are 200% stronger, enjoy the taste of food more (not that I have too many problems with that), and make more money I decided to look into it. Maybe you should, too.
Filed under: humor
Posted by: site admin | 2:46 am |
January 23rd, 2004 at 3:15 am
My favorite line in the ‘facts’ section is the convincing line, “Donald Trump first started off as a virgin.”
Now I’m convinced…
January 23rd, 2004 at 4:23 am
I realized early on that I was missing my virginity. However, being a teenager and less than wealthy, I hadn’t the funds to finance a research project such as this one in a bid to reclaim my virginity.
Instead, I developed the communication skills necessary to convince others to give me theirs. Yes, I was indeed the man who coined the term “Second-hand Virginity.” I was convinced it would work.
Of course, after the first live test, I realized that this technique would not restore MY virginity. However, much like Rogaine which was originally used for control of blood pressure, “Second-hand Virginity” had surprising, yet pleasant side-effects.
January 23rd, 2004 at 5:13 am
reminds me of technicalvirgin.com
January 23rd, 2004 at 6:41 am
It would appear that regaining one’s virginity disturbs one’s mathematical skills:
“o The death rate among virgins is 300% lower than that among non-virgins.”
Now, if the death rate among virgins is lowered by 100%, none of them would die. What would lowering it by 300% mean?
January 23rd, 2004 at 7:24 am
Are born-again virgins eligible?
January 23rd, 2004 at 9:32 am
“Now, if the death rate among virgins is lowered by 100%, none of them would die. What would lowering it by 300% mean?”
Not only do none of them die; another two arrive through Immaculate Conception.
January 23rd, 2004 at 9:38 am
Oops, that should have read:
Not only do none of them die; for each one that would have died, another two arrive through Immaculate Conception. I’m sure you knew what I meant though. If I’m in any way wrong, feel free to change the words until they make sense.
January 24th, 2004 at 4:47 am
I am confused as usual. Is that like before they invented a way to circumcise the globe and the whole world was gentile? and i find it hard to beleive that Donald Trump did not have to screw anyone to get started on the path to what is considered corporate superiority over the rest of us non-human, disposable resources. oops.
January 24th, 2004 at 9:57 am
“I felt I had let my children down by not being a virgin.”
=|
January 25th, 2004 at 4:18 am
“The Society for the Recapture of Virginity”
It escaped!?
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