molly.com
Tuesday 23 December 2003
tempo retardo
I woke up and looked at the clock. It said 4:30 a.m. I stumbled into the kitchen, tripped over the cat who yowled at me (old bitch). Then I blindly groped around for the teapot. While performing this ungainly dance I looked up and saw the clock on the stove. The clock said 4:00 a.m.
I made my tea and somewhat fortified went about the house to see what the clocks had to say. All the clocks, except for the one on the VCR that still blinks 12:00 incessantly (how formulaic of me) agreed with the clock on the stove. And the clock on the stove agreed with the time I found on the official U. S. Time page (URL: www.time.gov which I found to be pun-worthy).
So somehow in the middle of the night my bedside clock decided to run 1/2 hour fast. A perfect 1/2 hour ahead of the correct time. Overnight. Just like that.
If a clock consistently runs 1/2 hour ahead of time, and you set it 1/2 hour behind the time, shouldn’t it end up displaying the correct time?
But you know it never does.
Filed under: general
Posted by: site admin | 11:13 am |
December 23rd, 2003 at 2:18 am
Could be worse. Your clock could have run… out into the kitchen and impregnated your cat. Then she would still howl, but there would be a half hour delay.
December 23rd, 2003 at 12:45 pm
Hi, Molly.
I enjoyed this story very much.
I couldn’t help but notice that like most of us, you are stucking using “inline fractions” (one-slash-two, etc.) instead of the Unicode glyphs for “real” fractions. You’ve probably run into the same issue I have, that while you can theoretically display true, typographically correct fractions via Unicode, in practice they are so poorly supported in the browsers that they aren’t worth using.
This has become something of an obsession for me (i.e., poor implementation of the Unicode standard in browsers).
December 24th, 2003 at 2:40 am
“tripped over the cat who yowled at me (old bitch)”
How does your cat know how old you are? ;o)
December 24th, 2003 at 9:02 am
Should we assume that the ½ an hour is the first half, which would essentially be a “ho?”
You need to teach that clock some manners.
Or, including the cat, you certainly have your hands (and feet) full of ho’s and bitches. Or, if this has suddenly been happening over the past few days, it could be the digital/spiritual embodiment of “The Christmas Chronos” or “Secret Synchro-Santa” and it’s the only way your now possessed clock has to say:
“ho, ho, ho”
I guess it could also be 2nd ½: “ur, ur, ur,” but that is not very seasonally jolly, sounds more like the Cro-magnon Santa who would have been unaware of contemporary timekeeping devices, and is, therefore, less plausible.
ps. I would have used the unicode character for the fraction “digital/spiritual,” but I couldn’t find it.
December 24th, 2003 at 12:36 pm
Tara knows, since you visited that accelerator you may occasionally find yourself between “branes”. Or- it could be the tea. anyway Oolong it’s been nice to snow ya. I could never set the clock part of my so called scientific instruments combo temperature and timepiece= it is either 13.36 degrees centigrade or way after midnight. hummmmm. that could be a “cat-asstrophy”.
December 24th, 2003 at 12:40 pm
And by the way, you knew after that grunt about “Real” that they would put a hex on you. LOL
December 26th, 2003 at 2:22 am
sure and what’s the use of two clocks if they’re after tellin the same time?
December 29th, 2003 at 3:19 am
“poor implementation of the Unicode standard in browsers”
I hate the fact that I can’t use ff, ffi and fi ligatures. =(
May 4th, 2004 at 4:47 am
All it really means is that you have to find a stove with a clock that is small enough to fit on your bedside table
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