molly.com

Saturday 27 September 2003

quizzical quiznos commercials

Do you have a Quiznos Sub Sandwich Shop in your neighborhood? Well, their sandwiches might be endearing, but their T.V. commercials are just damned wrong.

Two guys are on lunch break. One, who has a a “toasted” sandwich in hand, wonders why his lunch pal made such a bad, untoasted lunch choice.

“Were you raised by wolves?” asks the guy with the toasted sandwich.

The dude with the inferior sandwich has a sudden flashback. There are two versions of this, which you can see yourself by following the links to the actual commercials, of which Quiznos appears to be rather proud (Quicktime required).

  • Flashback one: A female wolf nurses several young. Also sucking at her teat is the guy. An adult male human, sucking at the teat of a wolf.
  • Flashback two: The guy is in the wolf den with his “mother” and siblings. They are licking at his pale, emaciated face enthusiastically.

If there’s a joke in all of this, I’ve missed it. The idea of a male adult human sucking a wolf teat, no matter how nutrient-rich the colustrum, is not only wrong, but it definitely does not work. I do not now or ever want to eat a Quiznos sandwich.

Filed under:   general
Posted by:   site admin | 10:16 am |

196 Responses to “quizzical quiznos commercials”

  1. Aaron Says:

    huh? ewww…

  2. ben Says:

    There is no subtext you’re missing except one IMO.

    Somewhere a creative director is laughing his ass off because you just gave his client free advertising, and now so am I being just as generous…

    There are two Quiznos within walking distance of where I live. Hooray for suburbia.

    He made it stick in your head.

    Whether or not others will gu “huh? ewwww…” reamins to be seen.

  3. kake Says:

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    http://www.molly.com/cgi-bin/search/search.pl?Terms=mt+book

    cheers
    kake

  4. Craig Says:

    Well I sure can tell that people have way too much time on their hands when a harmless commercial can cause such a stir. The old saying fits, if you don’t like it turn it off.

    I watched both of them and found them to be stupid but hardly offensive. Like most commercials they try and stick a thought in your head. This one might work but I think they could have come up with much better flashbacks.

    Oh and I failed to see the guy do anything more then stick his face in the fur of the wolf. The rest is just imagination.

  5. Tango Says:

    For the most part I never even see commericals on the television. I am usually off doing better things or just chatting to the Misses. Maybe Quizno’s did produce a commerical that got peoples attention. It sure got mine, even though I thought it was vulgar and disgusting. It is one of the few commericals that sticks in my mind. The sad thing is, I really enjoy Quizno’s subs, but if they presist in producing commericals in this manner, it may be a while before I frequent the place again.

  6. Keith Burgin Says:

    I have, in fact, seen the commercial in question. I found it odd, but did not find it offensive. My reasoning may, though, be a bit odd in itself.

    Truth is, I have eaten at Quizno’s and detest their food. I was not offended by the commercial because in a side by side comparison, canine breast milk seemed more appetizing.

  7. Lynne Says:

    Oh, my…

    Thanks for that visual, Molly! Now I know why I don’t watch TV!

    (insert girlie noise here)
    EEEEEWWWWWWWW!

  8. Porter Says:

    I want a different option in the poll for “I think the ads are a pile of pants, but I don’t find them offensive.” I can’t bring myself to vote for “creative but not effective.”

    They’re really exactly what I’ve come to expect from ad agencies these days — there’s no “there” there. Actually, more than anything I come away from those ads thinking, “Wow… People who eat Quiznos subs sure are jerkoffs. Who the heck would jump down someone’s throat for their choice of sandwich?”

  9. Robert Says:

    The legend of Rome’s founding involves two twins, Romulus and Remus, who are saved and nursed by a female wolf. I don’t see how the Quizno commercials directly relate to this, but maybe they’re referring to this legend somehow?

    See http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Founding_of_Rome for more details.

  10. Stella Says:

    well at least the wolf didn’t have gargantuan fake plastic teats!

  11. PromoGuy Says:

    I have a post on this same topic, apparently it is getting a lot of google action. So I did the same and found your site. I am with you on the commercial, just totally gross.

    Looking forward to exploring your site!

  12. Davezilla Says:

    I thought it was brilliantly subversive advertising. I was more disturbed that the feral man resembled Mr. Bean.

  13. jkiel Says:

    The Quiznos ad doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the Hummer one (soapbox derby, kid builds a wooden hummer), where they basically tell kids that it’s ok to cheat, go offroad whereever the @#$! they want, whatever it takes to win.

    Sorry, guess I’m still idealistic. Sigh.

  14. Keith Burgin Says:

    That Hummer ad is just plain reprehensible. And if I meet any 9-year-olds who can afford a Hummer and have a driver’s license (clearly the target audience of this morally-ambiguous garbage) I’m going to set him/her straight, rest assured.

    I’m absolutely outraged… really. No, really, I am. It’s true, I’m livid…

    Okay, I’m not.

  15. Mollie Says:

    I don’t like that commercial either. Its just dumb.

  16. Lacie Says:

    All i have to say is that people shouldn’t go complain to Quizno’s employees about the commercials because they don’t make them! I have a friend that works there and she has gotten a lot of complaints and that’s just ridiculous.

  17. Keith Burgin Says:

    RE: Quiznos Manager Hijinx

    Madam - If this is the fellow I think it is, he has also worked under the name Adam West. My suggestion is that you contact folks who’ve had previous experience doing battle with him.

    I know that Caesar Romero and Burgess Meridith have passed on, and I’m reasonably sure that Frank Gorshin has as well. However, I believe Julie Newmar is still around. You might try her website at http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/8035

    Good luck to you.

  18. Porter Says:

    No way! Frank Gorshin’s playing on Broadway as George Burns in “Say Goodnight Gracie.” I guess his Dixie Riddle Cups money didn’t hold out.

  19. steve Says:

    i was extremely offended by th Wolf commericals I will not go to a Quiznos in the future. The message sent out is vulgar and the ads should be removed from the airways!!!

  20. TiJean Says:

    All this is lost on me. I guess I need to hook up my TV and get current with what commercials are playing. Or maybe not.

    JG, who liked the one where the Osbournes turn into the Osmonds but doesn’t drink any more Pepsi for it.

  21. Davey Jones Says:

    I seem to have a different opinion.

    I found this commercial to be hysterical, refreshing, very oblique, and well done (no steak joke intended). I flipped back several times on our Replay unit to see it again, in fact.

    I thought it was extremely creative, imaginative, and funny, and the timing of the last line was excellent. More commercials on TV should be like this one.

    As for the meaning, it seems pretty obvious which is that if you’re eating anything other than Quiznos Subs, you must have been raised by wolves because you are satisfied with very primitive, unrefined food. You don’t know any better, you don’t care, and there’s no hope for you. If you want to be like the wolf-guy, then keep on eating crappy sandwiches, otherwise, join the human race and seek more advanced food.

    So, to quote another famous fast food vendor’s ads: “Where’s the beef?” Or, perhaps, this is a case of blog imitating commercial. ;-)

    Now…if they happened to be doing the shower scene from “Scarface” and using a chainsaw to hack off a limb to put on a sub roll with some lettuce and pickle - that would be gross. The wolf commercial is just humor.

    Woof. Here wolfie - have a biscuit.

  22. TiJean Says:

    Mabye Quizno’s should sell horchata and label it “wolf’s milk”

    JG

  23. Gus Says:

    I work for Quiznos the commecial got edited the one they wanted to show the man had milk all over his face./

  24. noname Says:

    please don’t lash out on the actor in the quizno’s commercial – “pale and emaciated” is hardly true.

  25. shannon Says:

    OMG… That commercial is so damn hilarious. I love it everytime it comes on. The guy that is on it is actually my type of guy ;] (aside from the wolf thing).

    It takes extremely simple, or extremely comical things to make me laugh. Perhaps those of you lacking imagination WOULD not find it funny.

  26. Jim S. Says:

    That wolf guy gives me the impression that perhaps later that night he killed everyone in the “quizno” guys family. Freak…

  27. pdxrocket Says:

    bad sandwiches, great commercial.

  28. dawn Says:

    i am definitely not eager to get a QUIZNO sub after seeing a man sucking on a wolf..
    kinda disgusting..
    just dont see the marketing here ??

  29. beans Says:

    You people are so stupid!! It’s just a commercial GET OVER IT!!!!!!!

  30. Peter Says:

    Great comments guys. Peter FDA

  31. Bryan Hix Says:

    Ladies and Gents, I own three Quizno’s and seriously, can you actually say that the subs are that terrible? Get real. Maybe if you are used to eating at 5 star restaurants, but for those people that only have 20 minutes to eat a day, it much better than the majority of quick service restaurants available. Regarding the commercial, don’t worry, it’s gone forever and a new, completely different ad campaign is launching in Feb. so maybe you will change you minds.

  32. Meredith Says:

    I just saw two commercials of the new campaign mentioned by Bryan Hix. I wish they’d go back to the man-raised-by-wolves ad campaign.

  33. Caitlin von Schmidt Says:

    I LOVE the new ad campaign! I run into the room when I hear it come on! It’s so weird and the songs are so catchy. It reminds me of those cats playing White Stripes (among other things), which I can no longer remember where to find…

  34. sam Says:

    Saw the latest commercial…..???? The “song” is incredibly stupid…and what are those…deformed rats? I can’t believe that commercial was actually approved….what a bunch of idiots.
    I will never eat there.

  35. John Says:

    They are rather cool, my dog likes them, he barks each time they air.

  36. shaun Says:

    that commercial rocks, people who say eww are boring conformist conservative asses

  37. S.B. Says:

    So what Quizno’s (QUEEZEY NO!!!!’s ) is now advertising is they take pride in the dead and mutated rats that infest their stores… yummy, I think I’ll run right out and buy a sandwich before the health department catches on and closes them now. Truth in advertising can be a not so good thing.

    After the last 2 REALLY bad ad campaigns, a suckling freak of nature and now dead mutated rats, Subway and Schlotzsky’s are now getting all my business as I am sure they are from others. At least they don’t try to gross you out to get you in. My 6 year olds response to the ad was, “That makes me want to throw up!”

    I am all for advertising to spark interest, but sparking the thought of rodents while I eat… ewwww ! No! I think they may lose more current customers with this ad campaign then they bring in with it.

    Time to fire the advertiser and find someone who doesn’t work out of their rat infested basement guys!

  38. Shannon Says:

    http://www.rathergood.com

  39. david Says:

    The fact that you have a degree in the industry, and you don’t ‘get it’ is perfectly understandable. This is a level of dark humor that is normally beyond the masses (like the ones that you seem to be a part of). The reason why Strangers With Candy or Twin Peaks couldn’t have the lasting power of their blander, tamer, white-breader (yes, I made that word up) counterparts. Of course its’ going to offend some people, its’ off the beaten-path. I think the commercial is frickin’ hilarious, and so do a lotta’ people, but the key thing is that everyone is talking about it. People will be curious, some will be converted some driven away, but the name is on the lips of a -lot- more people that it was. I applaud these guys, even though it won’t last.

    And dude, the rat is -wearing a pirate hat-. Can you comprehend how frickin’ funny that is???

    I didn’t think so grandpa simpson. Now go back to writing your letters about the use of offensive words on TV like ‘bra’, ‘family jewels’, and ‘horny’.

  40. Adam Says:

    I own a store in Ohio, and what you need to remember is that Quiznos is now going after a demo of 18 to 34 year olds with a skew towards the male half of that demo.. These ads are meant to appeal to them, not the older and more calculating customer who actually thinks that seeing a rodent means that Quiznos could be full of rodents, you guys are frickin stupid. I dread seeing any of you in my store. I’ll take all the 18 to 34 year olds I can get because, ya know what? They always bring friends and family, unlike the older crowd who has chased off every last friend they may have had in the world.

  41. Robotto Says:

    I can’t wait for the next commercial, I can’t help but laugh out loud every time I hear them singing, they could fix their teeth though.

  42. Shelley Says:

    Their new one is completely hilarious. I can’t figure out what that little creature thing is, but it’s funny. That song is stuck in my head.

    I think Quiznos has some of the best advertising agents out there. They’ve done their job. It might be offensive or too far out of the norm for most people’s tastes, but they’ve got you to notice enough to talk about. We’re all pawns.

  43. Jason Says:

    Those new commercials for Quizno’s are deeply disturbing…and hilarious. Not nearly as disturbing as Jared from Subway, of course…

  44. J.D.B. Says:

    It’s a DEAD RODENT! Just look at the curled up feet, it’s DEAD! And it is a mascot for a food chain? There is something profoundly wrong not to mention unappetizing about that. My stomach turns as we speak. BLLLAAAAHHHHHH! I will Never eat there again; it wasn’t all that good in the first place.Perhaps more energy should be spent on making the food taste better rather then to gross out or shock people to get them to come in or more likely RUN THE HECK AWAY!

    Expressing yourself through art and film, I get that, I Majored in TV/Film Production and Minored in Advertising. HOWEVER… you don’t express your artistic flair in a food commercial with RODENTS! Sure some may laugh, but what about the other half or MORE repulsed by this who will now forever have that picture permanently ingrained in their head, and it revolts them to the point that they will always associate the SUB with a freaky DEAD rodent. EXACTLY what do dead rodents have to do with food anyway other than taking a dump, pee and nibbling at the bread packaging, do you want a sub made from one of those buns? So other than that How should we associate the rodent with the sub???

    Advertising is a tough business, it takes only one bad multi million dollar ad campaign to fail, and the advertiser has to start laying people off to compensate for the huge loss. Not to mention the shock wave that may follow when they are known as the advertisement company who puts rodents in their ads and lets not forget that RAISED WITH THE WOLVES ad where a guy was suckling on the momma wolfs teat. CAN YOU SAY PINK SLIP????

  45. liz Says:

    I love the Quiznos ads. I am 57 years old and they make me kaugh- and sing! being in tune with the loonier side of life is not the preserve of the young! It is good to hear the dulcet tones of a sponmonkey in a world full of manufactured pop trash. long live quiznos for choosing these geniuses!!!!!!!!!

  46. BJF Says:

    great ad. re-wound the VCR 5 times to watch ad thru teary eyes 1st time I saw it. different, catchy, and funnier than 99% of the ads on the air. will it make new customers visit the store? absolutely. including me. because they have a pepper bar.

  47. Jennifer Says:

    Does anyone know what the heck the creatures are in the new Quiznos commercials? They are pretty gross looking. What is up with their marketing team?

  48. JM Says:

    You don’t like the Quiznos commercials?

    Where you raised by wolves?

  49. mira Says:

    bahahah the new commercials with the rats (or whatever) are hilarious. i just wish i could find them online :/ ahahaha

  50. Jacob Says:

    These commercials are the absolute funniest advertisements I’ve ever seen. But even still, I won’t eat Quizno’s subs. Maybe it’s just me, but an ad has never really peaked my interest. What is the idea that ad agencies have now? “Hmmm, maybe they’ll think our food tastes funny, because or commercials are so damn funny”? No ad could ever funny enough to convince me to eat that crap again. But, I do congratulate them on their creativity, who else would think to put a dead rat in their commercial, wearing a pirate hat no less.

  51. joe Says:

    grow some balls and find a sense of humor.

  52. dancing_dead_rat_lover Says:

    holy crap! the new ads are total side-busters! my partner and i almost cried from laughing so hard the first time we saw one! we’ve been looking all over the net to try and find them so we can share them with everyone we know, but we can’t find them anywhere. they used to be on the quiznos site, but they’re gone. does anyone know where we can find them?!?!?

  53. dead_rats_kick_ass Says:

    THESE ARE THE COOLEST THINGS ON THE PLANET!!!
    I WANT TO LIKE… PRINT THEM OUT AND PASTE THEM ON MY WALL. HAHAHAHAH! They are so nasty, its hilarious! Their voices and lyrics to the songs are soooo funny! Keep up the good work guys!

    “QUIZNO’S SUBS! BEWARE OF PAPER CUTS! ANY COUPON WORKS! QUIZNO’S SUBS!”

    - singing dead rat

  54. Louie Says:

    The “rats/gerbils/rodents” in the latest commercial are… odd, perhaps a little disturbing, but not in any way offensive to me. I find that it’s a lot like watching a car wreck: You know that it’s not right, but you can’t help but watch anyway.

    Overall, the wolfman and the dead(?) gerbils aren’t going to change whether I eat at Quizno’s or not.

  55. Belinda Says:

    OMG, those freaked out rats, or premature chihauhau’s on crack, WHATEVER THEY ARE, along with their screwed up teeth make me sick to my stomach. I WAS a customer now all I think about is getting a rat in my sandwich. I am still not believing that you put such a commercial out there. It literally made me sick when I saw it.I love to laugh just like anybody but that commercial is deplorable and it makes me never want to eat at Quizno’s again.
    Good Luck.

  56. bart Says:

    those mutant rats were so funny i hurt laughing–what a strange and cool ad!

  57. Robin Says:

    At first I couldn’t figure out what the dead pirate rat was all about. Kind of thought it was stupid. Then the second time I saw it I thought it was just weird. The third time I started to laugh and now I think it’s hilarious. It’s the kind of commercial that stands out and whoever thought of it in the first place is brilliant. Good work guys!

  58. The Dead Rat Whom Find YOU Offensive Says:

    Quizo’s Subs! They are a dollar off! If you bring a coupon! For things to eat, or oil changes, or pony rides, or hair plugs! Beware of papercuts! Any Coupon works! Quizno’s Subs!

    It’s not even complicated, dark humor. It’s not ignorant, stupid humor. It’s just dark, stupid humor. Not even that dark to be offensive. It’s simple, light-hearted funny shit. If you don’t find the humor in it you must have been raised by wolves you fuckholes.

    You all complain about Quizno’s commercials for being annoying, unhumorous, unentertaining, and offensive crap while The Darkness “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” is a big hit. And you peope probably even like that bullshit song.

    Now you sit there and call me petty for disliking you for you taste in humor and music, but at least I have a sense of humor and a taste for good music. We are all goind to hell, I promise!

  59. kranny Says:

    Anybody who thinks that the creatures are actual ad’s telling the public that the restaraunts have dead rats in them is a real idiot. These things rock. There has never been another commercial like it. I think people who say they are stupid are just jealous due to their own lack of humor. I am waiting by the tv for the next one!!!

  60. Sam Says:

    I am so into those rodents on that Quiznos ad that I`ve spent the last 45 minutes trying to find a picture of them anywhere on the net.PLEASE someone help.Where can we find those very strange but funny creatures so that we could print them out or even better,use them for our desktops?I never even heard of the chain until I saw these current ads running and now I`m hooked….

  61. Debbie Says:

    The first time I “heard” the new commercial I was half-way asleep with my eyes closed. I thought it was annoying, BUT…….I actually watched it the nexted time and laughed my ass off. For some reason, the part “They got a pepper bar” brings tears to my eyes - still. I think they had a great “catch” with these new commercials. It sure caught my attention the very first time I saw it. Usually, it takes the average viewer between 9 and 11 times of seeing a new commercial before they realize whta the message or product actually is.

    I saw, “Keep ‘em coming - I’ll laugh.”

  62. Lee Wallen Says:

    The Quiznos commercials are great! I like the fact that they don’t necessarily make sense. Sam asked about the Quiznos rodents. I have seen them on the web before (unrelated to Quiznos) and I think the person (or people) that made the rodent animation have a whole series of songs. If I find the link, then I will post it.

  63. Lee Wallen Says:

    Here is a link to the SpongMonkeys (quiznos ad):
    http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

    Joel Veitch is the source of the SpongMonkeys:
    http://www.rathergood.com/

    Joel deserves all the attention he must be getting now. Those things are great.

  64. subway Says:

    Subway is better

  65. george Says:

    what are the words to the quizno’s song?

  66. someone special Says:

    i need the words to the quizno’s commercial song with the rat things. does anyone know them?

  67. anime_yuyu Says:

    hey whatz up, talkin bout that quizno’s commercial. rats yuck, thats like sayin:come eat here, we have rats in our subs…

  68. special someone Says:

    yeah it is. i think its pretty funny tho.. i want the lyrics to the song!! i can’t find them..

  69. Yo Says:

    These commercials are hilarious.

  70. leviathan Says:

    you prissy girls that dont appreciate cinical dark humor should go paint your nails and watch another episode of seventh heaven and shut your freakin cake holes!

    I laugh my ass off every time i see the spongemonkeys and the treatment of the quiznos ad messages within their idiom is nothing less than genius. Bravo to the ones who were brave enough to air these commercials.

    and subway subs taste like cardboard, so everyone switch to quiznos.

  71. Plissken Says:

    That commercial is probably the funniest commercial I have seen in a long time. Finally a commercial with FUNNY humor and not the kind made to please the tightly-wound soccer moms, who are all boycotting quiznos now and not letting little timmy and suzy eat there. God bless those crooked little mexican sloth gerbils.

  72. TheGriz Says:

    If you think Quizno’s restaurants have rats in their food because they use Spongemonkeys (see http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/) in their advertising, then you probably think that…Oh, right, you probably don’t think.

    It’s new, it’s rad, and it cracks me up. I’m definitely going to patronize Quizno’s.

  73. elroy Says:

    Hey now - I like the Quiznos commercials AND The Darkness. In fact, they sound a bit similar. ;-)

  74. Maura Says:

    i love this commercial! i think it is hilarious and entertaning! i think that all of u people who r flipping out about it need this advice: TAKE A CHILL PILL! its a commercial for hevens sake! if u dont like it then change the channel when it comes on! i have seen waaaay more rude and vulger things on TV then that! okay, it may seem like quizno’s is gross, SO DONT EAT THERE! they rnt forcing u guys to watch the commercial or go to quizno’s!

  75. Nicole Says:

    I freakin love that commercial! I crack up every time I see it!!!! I want some of those things to put on my binders nad stuff. It is the first time that I’ve seen a commercial and will therefore buy the product. BRILLIANT marketing!

  76. Brett Says:

    I love that commercial! i need the lyrics!! email them to me at sk8boardfreak9@aol.com

  77. Kristen Says:

    i want the lyrics 2 the commercial is soooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!! if ne 1 has got um IM me and giv um 2 me pinksmoothee15

  78. Elysa Says:

    The quiznos subs commerical are absolutely hilarious. I think it was a brilliant idea, and it gets people to actually remember the product, and people are talking about it. Whenever it comes on my boyfriend and I are hysterical!! And much like Debbie, I LOVE “They have a pepper bar’!!! Its sooo funny, you cant help but laugh!!

  79. Jon Says:

    guys…the commercial is a spoof from the website rathergood.com, which has a bunch of cartoons. i loved these rats the first time i saw them, and now that it became a quizno’s commercial, i just can’t believe it. that’s RATHERGOOD.COM and its under the cartoon “we like the moon.”

  80. Kim Says:

    I’m sorry for all of you who think that the rats are funny. They look mutated and I don’t think that any normal person who thinks of food wants to have rat associations while they eat. It seems that Quizno’s takes pride in the rats that they have in those stupid commercials. Why not try a representative fly or some maggots next time.

    Great idea guys!

  81. karen Says:

    I think the Quizno’s Commercial is OUTSTANDING…for it’s originality, outrageneousness, and brevity…and you know, they have “the pepper bar”…I LOVE IT!

  82. Alexandria McCoy Says:

    I thought that the Quizno’s sub commercial was not intended to make people disgusted I think they made it so people can remember Quizno’s…like Macdonald’s has we love to see you smile….the song gets in people’s heads…my friends and I actually found the commercial hilarious….we walk down the halls at school and sing the song….we are tring to find the lyrics…if people do not like the commercial then they can simply turn off the televison…Quizno’s just wants to make an impact..and I am sorry but if you have a problem why yell at the people who work there? Why write a letter to the company saying how volger the commercial is when it is just out of fun!? To be able to give people something to laugh and talk about should not be a huge crime……I mean come on….”THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR!”
    ~~~~~~~~~~Alexandria M. Kenosha,WI~~~~~~~~~~

  83. Marina Says:

    i absolutely love the quiznos commercials… granted, i’ll never eat there (i don’t do fast food), but i have to watch the spongmonkeys every time they’re on.

    go to quiznos.com and you can view the commercial as many times as you want. and three cheers to joel veitch…if you love this commercial, you’ll love his site. (check out the angry kittens.)

    and for pete’s sake, just because they’re using these crazy animals to catch your attention doesn’t really mean they serve rat sandwiches. stop taking things so literally! okay, i’m off to watch the commercials again.

  84. Ewww Says:

    Ewwwww. Quizno rats. Gross.

  85. Kim Says:

    The Quiznos rats are hilarious and harmless! I dont actually eat at Quiznos anyway…Beware of Paper cuts

  86. Arsonist Says:

    They are not rats you fools! there Freakin Potatoe chips with ears, teeth, eyes, pirate hats and guitars. geez, get it right

  87. we love da moooon Says:

    Spongemonkeys, dammit!!! NOT RATS!!!

    THEY’RE THE RATHER GOOD SPONGEMONKEYS!!!

  88. Ramesses II Says:

    The Quizno’s commercial campaign may be stupid, but it does get people’s attention, and is funny in its own way. I’d rather see that on tv, than a lot of the other crap that is on.

  89. lori Says:

    i;m sorry. alot of you think the rat commercial is cute and funny, but it;s in poor taste for a resteraunt. i seen a rat while i was eating at a big boy resteraunt when i was young. freaked me out. it needs to go.

  90. nicole Says:

    I think that the Quiznos commecial is really funny, who cares if they are “mutated rats” (though I think they kind of look like mexican hampsters). To tell you the truth, I’ve never eaten at Quiznos, but the commecial is stuck in my head for days on end, maybe I’ll eat there someday because of the catchy commerical. ROCK ON MEXICAN HAMPSTERS! :-p

  91. Dan Says:

    You people that are complaining are pathetic. Are you really so weak of mind and will that the ad campaign alone is enough for you to say “I’ll never eat a Quizno’s again?” Give me a break.

    As far as “those creatures” go, it was simply an internet animation that the geniuses at Quizno’s marketing department caught wind of, and bought the rights to use. In case you didn’t know, the middle to high school age group, which the ad is targeting, is currently watching more internet animation than they watch television. Don’t believe it? Try reading news that doesn’t come from Fox or ABC sometime.

    Again, come on people. It’s a commercial, and you are ridiculous.

  92. Ralph Huey Says:

    As a male in his late 40’s, I find the ads twisted and a bit
    disturbing, but incredibly hooky — I absolutely can’t get
    them out of my head. Something about the tune and the lyrics
    is irresistable.

    I can think of scores of ads that are more objectionable and annoying.

    I disagree that the original Moon Song version is better;
    in fact I think it gets completely tedious after the first
    few lines. It works much better as a 30-sec spot for my
    money.

    It’s obvious that it’s targetted at edgy young males who spend
    a lot of time on the web and watch South Park.

    BTW, the ads are currently posted as Flash animations on
    the front door of the Quizno’s web site.

    I’m impressed how lively this discussion is considering it
    was originally posted six months ago… the ads must be
    driving a lot of Google action.

  93. WirelessDJ Says:

    Glad to see I am not the only one thinking the Quiznos TV advertisement with the singing Rats is f_cked up.

    >http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/
    I admit this ‘original’ concept is funny (as it stands by itself).

    >Quiznos Rat TV advertisement
    is friggen stupid. It is not as funny as the original concept and I don’t see why they would want to associate rats with their product (even it was un-intentional). Somehow in the translation they lost it. Typical of the mainstream media.

    >Would it make me want to eat at Quiznos?
    No.

    >would it stop me from eating Quiznos ?
    No.

    >Do I eat at Quiznos normally?
    No.

  94. twigget Says:

    THEY ARE NOT RATS! LOOK AT THE EARS! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RAT WITH EARS THAT LONG? Or with claws that short? Come on, it’s funny! And if you like Quizno’s and you stop going because of the commercial, then, that’s pretty lame.

    The sad thing is that you find the animals offensive, but fail to notice that the commercial could be considered a RACIAL SLUR. When I first saw it, I could not believe that Quizno’s was actually able to air it. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is the funniest commercial I have seen in a long time, but it could really be considered to be racially offensive.

  95. amy Says:

    I LOVE them. How funny is that whole down syndrome rat/hamster concept. I wish I had thought of it!!!!!! Keep em’ coming. For all of you weak stomach, short of breath because of the hamster/rat/mice, comeon now!!!! Its a freakin commercial. Does the fact that McDonalds is associated with a clown make your stomach turn or subway being associated with JARRED, make you sick……IT SHOULD!!!

    If anyone knows where I can get pictures, wallpaper, or stuffed down syndrome hamsters/rats/mice please let me know. Email me at amy_Reed133@yahoo.com or anderson1626@comcast.net. Thanks

    Amy

  96. Charles Says:

    I have hired a very big legal defense team since I will be suing Quizno’s for mental anguish. I have woken up from slumber 14 nights in a row…having nightmares of these creatures. I know the ad team was on crack or LSD when they came up with these promotions….but for real I went into a location and asked the store clerk WTF are these things on your commercials since most companies make a huge deal of there corporate mascot and she informed me that she did not know what they were…she however said she received a call from a customer asking why they are selling “rats”! I about died laughing!!!

  97. Robert Waters Says:

    Wowie - Zowie,

    What a big waste of marketing dollars with the Quiznos Rodents, however I assume they’ve already written the check to the advertising agency so now they feel they have to get their moneys worth and irritate all the consumers by still running that lame commercial. I personally change the channel or mute the volume whenever that commercial comes on… it hurts my ears.

    I sent an email to quiznos and asked what’s with the rodents that can’t sing, and mentioned that they are losing customers in droves, however I was ignored.

    Want to send Quiznos an email through their contact page to let them know the rats really (really) suck?

    Here you go:

    http://www.quiznos.com/contactus0.asp?id=8

    But don’t expect them to answer you anytime soon, they’re too busy trying to recoup the money they lost when they paid for the commercial.

    Bob

  98. James Norwich Says:

    Ben Said:

    “Somewhere a creative director is laughing his ass off because you just gave his client free advertising, and now so am I being just as generous…”

    Ben, he’s not so creative since it does no good to get into ones head, if they then do not want to go to Quiznos. I’d guess he was fired for pissing everyone off, and losing Quiznos customers. Yep, it’s in my head when the commercial comes on, but I change the channel. Now when I drive by Quiznos, I see dirty, screaming, and ignorant rats, suddenly I lose my appetite until I near SUBWAY. Go Figure.

    James

  99. BSTclassBLOCK3 Says:

    holy shit thats the funniest shit i have ever heard. it is something that can put a smile on anyones face, like from where i am typing this in boring business system and technology class….when all of a sudden a student on the other side of the class says “We love these subs” “cuz they are goooooood to us” “these quiznos subs” and “beware of paper cuts!”, “any coupon works!” hee hee…

  100. Brock Richardson Says:

    the commercials are funny and i’m retarded!!!!!!!
    dang i’m stupid ahahahahahahah and gay!!!

  101. Amanda Says:

    The quiznos commericial is rather funny but also i just wonder why would singing rodents with huge teeth make people want to eat there? It actully makes me think that there are rodents in the quiznos now. So in general it makes them lose business instead of promoting it.

  102. brenna Says:

    vh1 had kittens dressed in drag singing karma chameleon by prince.. and one way playing a guitar. and the picture zoomed in and out. that could, quite possibly be what erena is thinking of?

  103. Erena Says:

    Hey….when I watch those new Quiznos commercials it reminds me of another commercial or spot I’ve seen on TV involving a singing cat band, one or two are singing, one is playing the guitar. Where have I seen this?? It’s driving me crazy. I thought maybe MTV. I haven’t been able to find a reference to it on the web but I remember the cats were similar because someone had obviously used photoshop or some program to give them big toothy grins, etc. Help!

  104. Kerri Says:

    The singing cat band was on mtv during the Video Music Awards. I think they were singing a Guns’N'Roses song.

  105. dejablues Says:

    The singing cats are also from rathergood.com. I love them all, especially the Viking Kittens and Pavarotti Loves Elephants. What’s life without a little pure goofiness? I heard the Slate guy on Day to Day (NPR) today talking about the Quiznos ad. Apparently it’s a huge hit, and is not scaring away customers at all. Go Spongmonkeys!

  106. Chelsea Says:

    I’ve heard of Quiznos, but now… I wanna go! I think their commercial was very effective for people of certain ages and with a sense of humor. Every time I see that creepy little guy I just have to laugh. He’s stuck in my head all day… it’s hilarious! Even though it offended some people, which I don’t know why it would, they’ll forget about it someday, but the idea of Quiznos will still be in their head. Whoever put this together… you’re my kind of person. ;)

  107. Jackson Says:

    i have only 3 words too say:
    twelve gauge shotgun

  108. Big Bear Says:

    I think the commercial was very “ODD” but i remember eating there during the 1998 Summer, I think thats when it came out in my hometown and it was way better than subway cause they “Toast” there bread, but now that i see this commercial and remember the other odd commercials this one over did it, buy “I WILL STILL EAT THERE” regardless of the commercials, cause how does everyone know when they go out to eat anywhere that your probably not eating what they say it is…..Well see Ya Later…

  109. Bart dude Says:

    Wish I knew if there was an URL for the commercial of the guy suckling on the wolf. Man, I miss that commercial. I busted a gut everytime I saw it last year… Does anybody know where I can download that commercial?

  110. amanda Says:

    The sponge monkeys are cool.

  111. dejablues Says:

    I don’t understands why everyone insists on calling the creatures rodents when they are obviously pygmy marmosets, which is a primate like you and I. Didn’t you ever watch PBS when you were kids??? ;-P

  112. SpiritLight Says:

    From what I’ve been able to discover, the Spong Monkeys must be based on the tarsier, which is a tiny primate.

    When I first saw the commercial, I couldn’t believe that Quizno’s thought it was an effective marketing choice. Like many others, I didn’t care for the association of something so rodent-like associated with my food. Yet like a true earworm, the song burrowed its way into my head and soon I was rolling with laughter each time the “hair plugs” line came along and listening for the one with the now famous line with which I found this blog: “They’ve got a pepper bar!”

    I love it, and my sweetie and I want to visit Quizno’s just to see the pepper bar!

  113. gabriel kimber Says:

    i thought it was really weird at first and then i saw it a few more times and i started to laugh,it is a really big thing at my school and everyone is tryin to figure out the lyrics to it, i was too but i came to this from google and decided to write something

  114. something Says:

    You guys are disgusting!!!! Who gives a F_ck?

  115. Kathleen ONeal Says:

    I love those little things! They are like so ugly they’re cute. I hated them at first but they grew on me…

  116. Nicole Fitterburg Says:

    I want little stuffed Quizno’s rats to sleep with!

  117. nickeldimer Says:

    WE LOVE THE SUBS CUZ THEY ARE GOOD TO US! THEY GOT A PEPPER BAR! OR OIL CHANGES!

    METALLICA!
    SALUTE THE REBEL FLAG!
    ROCK AND ROLL!
    THUG PRIDE!

  118. William Says:

    I love those little guyz. The voice of the singer rocks. I run in the room everytime it comes on. I was ticked off last night when the started showing shorter versions of it. And I must agree I would love to have a stuffed on to sit on my desk at work.

  119. CheiftainMaelgwyn Says:

    I loveed this commercial! We were in English class, and my classmates showed it to me on the internet. I was laughing into the next period!

    “Any coupon works”

    Anad then my Pre-Calc Teacher was singing it. Yes. That was the best part. ^^=

  120. kimberly Says:

    Hell yes! Blode and the Giant Pea from www.rathergood.com! Check out the hedgehogs.

    Anyone who takes a commercial offensive and to heart shouldn’t be watching tv! I mean come on! It’s a silly commercial! “ANY COUPON WOOORKSS!!!”

    No, really, I am a marketing major. Their strategy may be considered unusual or disturbing to many, but it works, doesn’t it?

  121. kimberly Says:

    Oh, when visiting the rathergood website, listen to the words of “We love the moon”

  122. LJRB Says:

    The singing rat creatures were so convincing that I had to follow their advice and go buy a Quizno sub.. It was good too. Love it or hate it the commercial gets alot of attention… and makes me laugh.

  123. Jeff Elder Says:

    GLAD YOU ASKED

    What’s with those bizarre Quiznos ads?

    JEFF ELDER

    Q. What’s up with those screeching rodents on the Quiznos TV commercials?

    “We love the subs!” wails what looks like a gerbil. Except gerbils are cute. This guy makes roadkill look cute.

    His big, asymmetrical eyes are misshapen. He has what appear to be human baby teeth. He’s wearing a derby. And he sings like Tiny Tim — if Tiny Tim were on fire.

    The singing guy is accompanied by another surreal gerbil wearing a commodore’s hat and playing a guitar.

    Meet the most talked-about pitchmen in the country: A pair of scrungy rodents — who are selling food.

    The Super Bowl commercials passed us by like a glitzy, billion-dollar parade. Most of the ads were slick, some were cute. How many were memorable? These Quiznos ads certainly are.

    The computer-animated creatures were created by London-based Web artist Joel Veitch, who’s also done spots for VH1 and British TV. Quiznos bought the rights to use the characters.

    Is the startling — some even call it horrifying — ad campaign working? Quiznos says sales are up. The New York Times, USA Today, AdAge, Cox newspapers and hundreds of Web sites are all talking about them.

    We managed to get an interview with Veitch himself. (Which took dogged persistence and a little whining.) He’s a very nice, you might even say “normal,” chap.

    GLAD: What, exactly, ARE these things?

    VEITCH: I’m not really sure to be honest, but they certainly do like subs.

    GLAD: Is the body, or WAS the body, once a real animal? Is that mouth a child’s mouth?

    VEITCH: I’d love to say I have a sinister laboratory in a secret bunker beneath an evil dome on the ocean floor, where I experiment with the creation of freakish beasts. The truth is a bit more dull, I’m afraid: It’s all done in Photoshop (a computer tool that allows manipulation of photos). I have a library of 50,000 images here, and a digital camera. … Using various source images I fiddle about until I’m happy.

    (Veitch would not tell us exactly what images he used to construct the Quiznos creatures — he calls them Spongmonkeys. But he did say they are a compendium of many photographic images, not just features stuck on a dead mouse. He slyly suggested that the eyes might be rubber balls superimposed on white hard hats.)

    GLAD: Are some people horrified by your creations?

    VEITCH: Yes, I suppose some people are.

    GLAD: Are you getting barraged by new offers for work?

    VEITCH: I get a lot of requests to take things on, yes.

    Trey Hall, Quiznos’ chief marketing officer, said there are three basic reactions to the ads:

    1. What in the world?

    2. What is this company thinking?

    3. That’s marketing genius.

    How did Hall propose to Quiznos’ top brass that they use scary rodents to sell their food? “We took the ads to the public and videotaped viewers’ reactions. Then — without showing our execs the ads — we showed them the viewers’ reactions.”

    And what were those reactions?

    “People went wild,” Hall says.

    The executives were sold. Even after they saw the ads.

    Still, many viewers just don’t associate the unappetizing creatures with food. They look like something no restaurant would want scurrying across the floor, much less touting the menu. (”They got a pepper bar!” the rodent singer warbles in one memorable line.)

    Other people find them hilarious.

    “I just think they’re funny,” says Jonathan Baker, 14, of Belmont. “They’re so different.”

    What do you think?

    HAVE A QUESTION?

    E-mail Jeff Elder at glad@charlotteobserver.com or call him at (704) 358-5032. (E-mail is preferred.)

  124. Kirby Says:

    The SpongMonkeys on the ads were absolutely hilarious, and anyone who thinks it means that Quiznos has rats is a STUPID JACKASS.

    Great work Quiznos!

  125. jws Says:

    That awful commercial may stick in my head but now every time I drive by a quiznos I keep driving by. The hamsters on crack really did mentally ruin my apetite.

  126. brennan Says:

    juss listen to the song and u can find them

  127. joel Says:

    Does anyone know where I can find the lyrics to the singing rat commercial??

  128. Kat Says:

    Spongmonkey spot #1:
    We love the subs!!!
    Cuz they are good to us!
    The Quizno’s subs!!!!
    They are tasty,
    They are crunchy,
    They are warm because they toast them!!!!
    They got a pepper bar!

    Spongmonkey spot #2:
    We love the subs!!!
    Subs are a dollar off!!!
    When you bring in a coupon
    For things to eat or oil changes!!!
    Or pony rides or for hair plugs!!
    Any coupon works!!!
    Beware of paper cuts!
    The Quizno’s subs!

    Geek? yeah, so?

  129. IRulePlanetLoser Says:

    i cannot even express the hilarity of these commercials. i thought it was a joke when i first saw them. my friend Valerie and Tracy and I sing the commercials in my English class. yesterday we laughed for at least 30 minutes straight. (and we were taking a test.)

    i am impressed, and proud that someone has finally created a commercial that is genuinely funny.

    THANK YOU QUIZNOS AND YOUR MUSICAL HAMPSTERS.

  130. stac Says:

    i think they are really funny yet disturbing and i think that the advertisers have done a good job becayuse it gets quiznos stuck in our heads…

  131. joel Says:

    Thanks Kat….haha this commercial makes me laugh everytime i see it,and now i can sing along!!

  132. WE LOVE DEE SUUUBS Says:

    HOLY SHEEEET i love them quiznos commercials. They are soooo damn cool. The fuzzy potato/rat things make me want to kick some ass. They make a great advertisement for quiznos! i think theyre the next triumph the insult comic dog, theyre gonna be on lenno, just wait and see…

  133. Caitlin von Schmidt Says:

    I am a 43 year old woman who is definitely NOT a soccer mom, and I love these ads! I love them so much that I actually sent emails to Quiznos, Jeff Veitch, and the ad agency (which, by the way, is not the agency who did the wolf ads) to say how much I loved them. I have seen, what, millions of ads in my lifetime and this is the first time I have been prompted to tell anyone how much I loved one.
    And I got a really nice email back from a guy at the ad agency who was on the creative team and that made me love the ads even more!

    I will absolutely eat at Quiznos because of this ad. Thank god for companies that will try something new and weird instead of feeding us the same old pablum.

    Oh, and thanks, Jeff Elder, for the interview with Veitch! Very cool!

  134. Caitlin von Schmidt Says:

    I’m obsessed! I can’t keep away!

    For those who crave a voice of authority (of sorts), check out this article: http://slate.msn.com/id/2095868/

    And here’s another good article, which mentions the beloved spongmonkeys but is also about the web animation phenomenon in general: http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/162477_subdudes.html

  135. Shannon P. Says:

    I think the spong monkeys in the Quiznos commercials are hysterical. If they were swinging for the fences on that one they made it. Keep them coming. Go to www.rathergood.com/gaybar/ to see the guitar playing puppy and the kittens in viking wear.

  136. josh Says:

    the sponge monkeys are relly cool thire teeth are cool to.

  137. trey Says:

    they scare me

  138. Muphukka Says:

    They are a mix of some cut out of a some guys eyes who are about to explode, mouths that always move, and a hat from a thrift store. overall its a upgrade. I like it!

  139. Muphukka Says:

    FURBY Vs. SPONGEMONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Who will win?
    Any thoughts post it. Starting with: TO MUPHKKA.

  140. Muphukka Says:

    I wonder if you will turn into a spongemonkey if you eat a quiznos sub?

  141. spiker847 Says:

    I have never tried their sandwiches but i LOVE THE SPONG MONKEYS!!!!!! if u have a picture of them please send it to me

  142. Harry Says:

    they arent “deformed rats” or whatever, they are marmosets(sp?) but with edited eyes and a mouth (kind of obvious), and they arent dead… they hang up on trees so they just edited the marmoset off the tree and thats why the legs are all curled up like that and i can assure u that quizno’s didnt want their subs associated with “deformed down syndrom rats” lol. oh well i love the commercial, maybe this info will clear up some controvercy about them heh, and to see the original spong monkies go to www.rathergood.com its under “We Like the Moon” heh well peace out
    -harry

  143. Oldfield Krista Says:

    People are just smart enough to not be happily ignorant.

  144. Fred Counts Says:

    The Quiznos commercial, with the animated gerbils, is by no doubt in my mind the funniest and most awesome commercial ever made by a human.
    I laugh my head off whenever I see them.

  145. Eve Says:

    Yeah, it’s official — Quizno’s has RATS! LOL

  146. Amanda Shepherd Says:

    The monkey things that everyone is going on about are called Tarsiers. They inhabit only a couple of islands in the phillipines. They are really cute and their fur is really soft. they have HUGE big round eyes like saucers, and funny little feet and hands (?) that remind me of a frogs. they are the worlds smallest primate.

  147. Brandon Says:

    The creatures in the commercial are from a website created by Joel Veitch. The address is http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song

  148. Shane Quednau Says:

    I have been looking for ever for the Quiznos Spounge Monkey commercial download. if anybody knows where i can download the commercial please contact me at shanequednau@hotmail.com And if anybody could tell me how to make it as my screen saver that would also be very helpfull, lol.

  149. varney Says:

    I adore the ads. They *I* think were a fairly good risk for the chain, just as an attention getter.
    The founder of the chain, who now considers himself a majority stockholder, said that he wasn’t at the meetings that approved the ads. He does wish that they concentrated on the food, rather than an agressive image based campaign.
    Pretty ironic considering some of the above posts about the food, which I’ve never tried.

    Which brings me to what appears to be the secondary topic of the thread:
    I don’t really buy anything based on ads; when I have, I’ve been disappointed. (Starts grumbling ’bout post-WWII US manufacturing as if he were far older than he is.)
    This does not prevent me from enjoying the ads I occasionally do watch. I love watching ads from the past, or other cultures, as they really are among the most important cultural records, reflecting local or historical mores: sexual, economic, and otherwise. Sometimes even subtly.

    In other words the ads are damn funny, and if you don’t like’em, that’s yer damn choice, as is mine to like’em.
    But I ya think that an ejoyable conversation about ‘em is stupid, I am sorry that you are unable to bring to bear the intellect requisite to the subject.

  150. perry Says:

    Personally I love the commercials; especially the ones with the 2 tarsiers. Every time I saw those commercials I broke into hysterical laughter, often finding myself hunched over, coiling in pain, tears streaming down my cheeks. I remember the first time I saw the commercial. I froze in shock for about 4 seconds, and then just erupted. If it weren’t for my suffocation and gasping for air, I would have sung merrily along every time I saw the commercials. I often found myself singing it at work, or driving down the road; and was always in a good mood when I thought of it. These commercials are blatantly hysterical, and if you can’t bring yourself to the understanding of their aim, I’ll have no choice but to peg you as humorless. If you stood back for a moment and listened to yourselves, you would realize how much you all sound like prudes. Even the wolf commercials… they’re funny. Come on now. They make people (most people) laugh, and if I were the owner of Quizno’s, I would find greater satisfaction knowing that I made a few million people laugh chuckle or smile, than having and increase in sales.

    All I’m sayin’ is lighten up, live a little. Don’t get so uptight about something to extraneous.

  151. Vince Pale Says:

    this whole thread is advertising so “Nice Job Quiznos” i also like the dead rat comercial

  152. Van Says:

    Hey i learned the song on guitar and sang it. EAT QUIZNOS SUBS!!!!!

  153. Bill Says:

    I’ve seen alot of commercials and many of them stick in my head. Some people say that any publicity is good publicity, but I beg to differ.

    I will not patronize an establishment whose commercials or business practices insult my intelligence or sensibilities. Quiznos has succeeded in joining that rank with the rat thing, as has the republican party and most organized religions.

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    or
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    btw i love all of these pages and i am not some stupid kid or deranged freak. Good God People lighten UP!

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  167. Pat Says:

    Howdy, ma’am. Never eaten at Quiznos, don’t plan to. I LOVE THOSE COMMERCIALS!!!! Shoot! Missed the “wolf tit” one! No one seems to get the Chrome/THIRD FROM THE SUN (google it, nitwits) graphical reference with the big eyes and such. I was impressed not at all that anyone had “accomplished” something with this campaign, but that they GOT AWAY WITH IT. Therein lies the key to dealing with the greedheads and moneyrapists: convince ‘em you got something they want/can use, respond with material that’s an inscrutable slap at their sensibilities/plans and BLEED ‘EM DRY. Remember the biological roots of all warfare: NO MORE of THEM, just more and more and more of US. Have a blessed day…I’m Pat.

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